No, I don’t want children.

Somewhere between the cheese board and the second bottle of wine we opened, it dawned on me: in no long time, I—Monique van Loon—might be the only one in this group of childless friends. Now that we are over thirty, trading student rooms for nicely furnished apartments and cheap pub beer for natural wine, our plans have grown too. One BF with more career or wanderlust drive than the other, though one dream of the future seemed unanimous: the hope of having kids. At least…for everyone at the table except me.

This article is from Cosmo’s New Beginnings edition, as is lichen sclerosus. Here you can read all about the chronic condition below

No, no, no: I don’t want children

I don’t have this desire for children. never had. This has nothing to do with me being single, being gay, my body being unable to give birth after a life saving operation or just not loving children. exactly the contrary. My top five motives?

  1. My freedom
  2. state of the world
  3. Climate change
  4. cash
  5. mucus
    1. Then I actually forget the “night’s sleep”. I love those little noses (well, preferably without snot), as long as they’re not mine. I go to the baby showers shine On maternity visits and also for Disney marathons, baking cookies and jars of Beverbende, I’m ready to prod. If only I could go home in a few hours. My home, a beacon of peace, with no lego blocks to trip over or lock the kids in the snack drawer. Where the remote is mine, the K3 never appears on my Discover Weekly list, and where I don’t have to worry about my iPhone being snatched—or my credit card ransacked for Minecraft coins.

      This is what Michael Jackson’s children look like now>

      Messy Hot Auntie

      However, soon Baby will enter my life: my sister is pregnant. Now that she’s an Aunt, I plan to fully embrace the role of the Messy Hot Aunt. The TikTok video by Cat Ward, who coined the term, has been viewed more than half a million times. An aunt who has no children at all has nothing against children. She just doesn’t want them herself. can relate! The MHA rocks half-hip, half-tailored Zara clothes without the Olvarit stains and spit, treats herself to fancy croissants and the occasional cigarette and is present at every children’s party – with or without a little hangover, but always full of juicy anecdotes. A house, a tree… a party. sad? Not right! She only has ambition not to settle down. Not now, and maybe not ever — and she’s totally fine with that. She makes her own money, has a lot of free time and her world is about living, not creating life.

      Anouk has six children – this is how they look now>

      The Messy Hot Aunt represents an unseen, yet significant group we don’t see often in the media. In the Netherlands, one in five women are still childless. For all sorts of different reasons, many of which unfortunately include sad ones. But what about Those who do not voluntarily give birth? There is still a taboo on it. Sure, they’ve written about it over the years. from The savvy aunt By Melanie Nutkins (This Canadian Writer Uses the Term Punk: Professional Aunt, No Kids) and Happy without children (From Lisette Schweetemaker’s self-proclaimed “involved aunt”) To Real women have children From Elizabeth Smith. Although this last book is also about a lot about unwanted people who don’t have children, and therefore not about the category I belong to.

      societal expectations

      If you feel anxious about pregnancy – not to mention parenting – in the Netherlands you are often seen not as smart, but as a sad aunt. The social expectation for childbirth remains high. Boomers catch on “when the little ones are coming” at birthday parties… This is not only very painful for the people who didn’t make it, but it’s also very upsetting for those who didn’t voluntarily be among the visitors. “No, Aunt Sam, I don’t want that responsibility. I’d like another stick of cheese, please.” Someone recently asked me if I’m not afraid of regrets later. Sorry?! I haven’t told you how many times sincere parents whisper to me in secret that they sometimes wish they had never even started. A friend recently said, “I’ll never have my alone time again, which is scary.” It seems to me that the regret after you have had it will be more harmful to all parties.


      You can read Monique’s entire article in Cosmopolitan’s New Beginnings edition, which you can order without shipping costs. You can also read a candid interview about mental health, with cover girl Vera Camila. HCosmo subscription is also arranged this way; Nice to give or of course for yourself! Best of all Is that you can choose your gift yourself, so that you can enjoy it more.

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