“Am I jeopardizing my relationship because I’m not attracted to his kids?”

Kim (38) She broke up with her regular relationship last month Maurice. They have been together for over a year. “Spending Christmas with his children: I don’t want to and can’t.”

Bonus kids

“If you really care about him, those three kids won’t be a problem,” I can still hear my best friend say. We were drinking together for crisis consultations. I fell in love with Maurice, whom I had only known for four months at the time. Really everything about the guy is great: he’s attractive, funny, smart, he has a nice house with an owner and nice friends, some of whom I actually met at the time. Maurice wanted to show me his whole life almost from the start. Something I really liked. This way I knew immediately what kind of meat I had in the tub. He was still protective of a part of his life: his three children, ages seven, nine, and twelve. Because I entered ‘no’ on my dating profile under ‘I want to have kids’. On our second date, he admitted his paternity. Because I already felt butterflies, it didn’t surprise me. Not after that, anyway. I always knew I didn’t want kids. And by that I mean both organic children and bonus offspring. I’m more of an adults only resort than family friendly camping. My furniture is nice and white, because I don’t have to worry about chocolate stains on my velvet chaise longue. After a long day at work, I want to open a red wine in peace, and yes, that was fine with Maurice. After all, he had a last weekend arrangement with his ex.”

cursed

“In practice it worked well. We spent a lot of evenings together during the week. We also spent weekends when he didn’t have kids together. We also regularly go on weekends together. I can still see us walking around Paris last spring, hand.” Bild and madly in love… cuddling in the back of a boat on the Seine… We also had good, serious conversations. Maurice said he could be the same with me, except on one side. After more than six months of dating, he felt I hardly acknowledged his paternity. : I never asked about his children, and almost shrugged when he showed them a picture or a video. I watched it out of courtesy, not out of interest. But I didn’t dare say it at the time. Maurice should have been more assertive: children are the most important thing in His life. And I should have accepted that choice. However, we also liked to be honest with ourselves and with each other. To think about whether we really fit together. To see if we really had a future together. A shared life in which everyone would be optimally happy And they can be themselves.”

“It would be so much easier if I could really open up. But the few times I met Morris’ children didn’t work out. The youngest showed me his collection of dinosaurs, much to Morris’s delight. I saw his eyes light up as his son walked up to me excitedly. Well, he came from my toes.” , “Is that a T-Rex?” Gradually, there were more and more annoyances: then I was startled when his ex-husband wanted to swap again for the weekend. Or even worse, he wanted to get rid of the kids with Maurice more often. Then We got into a fight because I used the word dump. “You don’t even talk about a dog like that,” he said angrily.

discussions

“It was very frustrating because all the discussion was just about the kids. Other than that it was really perfect between us. Although there were cracks in the end. Maurice recovered quickly less than arguing. Or if a sweet reward mom passed on TV, you got a look.” : That’s what it could be. Of course I cursed myself. What’s wrong with me that I don’t like children? Maurice is seriously the real stuff. Would I risk it because I don’t attract his kids? The answer turned out to be yes. Maurice had booked Austria for a week as a surprise, for the Christmas holidays Christmas. He and his three kids and me. Spend Christmas with his kids, I want and can’t. Not good food, but get chicken nuggets and pizza from the buffet. It gives me a stomach ache: Am I really that selfish, or am I entitled to feel this way? According to the best A friend of mine, “I’m not the only one who thinks this way, but she hoped I’d turn around a little bit. Crying, I broke up with him a week after he revealed the ‘surprise.’ Morris admitted it was kind of an ultimatum, though he thought I’d come along anyway.” You’re really going to have fun with the four of us at the end,” he cried. “But that was obviously a bit silly.” And I nodded and started grumbling too. Of sadness and relief. Because as much as I love Maurice, our relationship and further motherhood are not meant to be.”

Text: Agnes Hoffmann | Image: iStock

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