“ I felt guilty because I love sadism, but my husband responded wonderfully.

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Claire has been married to Bass for 25 years. They have three children: Floor (21), Relationships (19) and Lucas (17). In addition to her marriage, Claire has been in a relationship with BDSM for the past twelve years. Her husband occasionally visits a swingers club.

“I’ve always had a good relationship with my husband, we had a great time together. Only the sex was hard, because I wasn’t really aroused and never really turned up. In the days when the internet wasn’t there yet, Bass bought a book with pictures. Not a vulgar book, it had pictures.” Beautiful for situations. I looked at the pictures and saw a woman tied to a bed. I felt something I’d never felt before. We tried it a little bit, but it wasn’t quite.

We had conversations about our fantasies. It wasn’t easy, I found those conversations very difficult at first. But we talked about it and decided to try out the swingers club. At first I found it exciting, but soon I noticed it didn’t get me excited either. Swinger clubs are about sex and lust, while for me it was more about the mental game, the power game.


It wasn’t until around 37, after reading a lot about it and finally admitting it to myself, that I discovered I liked a soft version of SM. At least that’s what I thought until I found out that it’s not just about the soft version. I felt so guilty about it. My kids were young, I realized I was different, and my world turned upside down.

“He knew it wasn’t for him, but he wanted us to be completely ourselves in our relationship.”

Fortunately, my husband responded wonderfully. He was always the one to take the initiative and suggest I respond to an online personal ad. Bass knew it wasn’t right for him, but he wanted us to be completely ourselves in our relationship. I am grateful to him that I was able to invent myself in this way. I was full of judgments about myself, while he urged me to investigate.

steady relationship

The first time I met my master, we only drank coffee. Trust is important in any relationship, but it is essential with BDSM. We gradually formed online connections and live meetings. Pushing boundaries, being able to completely be ourselves, felt like home. The sensations that I experienced with him, I had never experienced before.

My breeder and I have been in a “steady relationship” for twelve years now. I never wanted anything to do with anyone else. We hit it off instantly and still have a lot of fun together. We even wrote an e-book together, 99 lashes, an immersive bdsm fantasy. We’re both very proud of it and we get great reactions, but I can’t share that with anyone in my life other than my husband. I can’t talk to anyone about it. Even my kids don’t know anything. Sometimes I regret it, because we had so much fun writing. So now we are writing our second book.

Also read – Lili practices BDSM: “I like being someone’s sex slave”>

Good talks

There are sometimes people who ask what is the secret of our relationship. I think these are in large part conversations about our deepest desires. It’s been an exciting journey, and I’m grateful that Bass supported me on it. We’ve been together for a long time and continue to grow together, and we can totally be ourselves. We are lucky that we had such a great time together and that we were able to find our special complement. I have my own bdsm relationship, my husband sometimes goes to swingers clubs without me.

“Now I finally feel one thing complete, and my two worlds complete.”

I now finally feel one thing complete, my two worlds complete. But that took a long time, step by step. I’ve had good conversations with my husband and doctor about this. Bass and I have always continued to do things together. We are now exploring tantra to see if we can get more out of it. Our children are increasingly going their own way. This means that we have to search for a new balance together. We’ve embarked on a new path, embarked on a new adventure, and that’s how we feel.

I hid my feelings for a long time and hope by telling my story I can reassure other mothers if they feel “different.” this is good. Dare to be yourself and open with your partner. Know: it could be anything out there. You can be there.”

This article appears in Kek Mama 11-2022.

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