Are you needy, or do you prioritize your needs in the relationship?

In a relationship, we all have our own needs and wants. And yeah, we’d love to talk about that, too. However, expressing your needs and wants is usually seen as something negative in a relationship. But why is that anyway? According to a psychiatrist who Well and good Is this complete nonsense. After all, there is nothing wrong with having needs. Not to mention communicating it to your partner and expecting it to come true.

needs and expectations

According to the psychologist, it is very healthy to actually value what you need and look for in a relationship. After all, you don’t want to be in a relationship that ultimately thinks: “This isn’t it after all.” In addition, it is best to communicate these needs to your partner and also have expectations. You don’t say it for nothing, do you?

However, this is not always the case. In fact, it is often assumed that these needs and desires can be met outside of your relationship. But you have to step on the brakes for a while. In fact, our needs and desires are met precisely when we are dependent and connected to others. Take notes!

Be proud

The psychologist explains that being in certain relationships and having healthy, positive and supportive relationships has a huge impact on our personal growth and “healingThis is why it is important to know the needs and expectations you have and really make them clear to your partner. This way you tell us right away how you want to be treated emotionally.

Get rid of those negative energies and thoughts associated with the need in a relationship. Be proud of yourself for knowing exactly what you want in a relationship and having the courage to express it! And this is not the only positive thing about it, because according to the psychologist, there are three more important reasons why neediness in your relationship is so good. We include them for you

Do they fit together?

Let’s get straight to the point: If you express your needs, you can quickly see if your partner can provide for them. It’s a common problem that people in a relationship who are ashamed of their neediness don’t realize that they are simply with someone who isn’t a good match for them romantically. For example, if you find yourself asking the same thing over and over again, chances are your partner simply can’t give you what you need. It is for this reason that you shy away from your neediness, when instead you should recognize that you are with someone who is not right for you.

Calling ourselves needy is of course a form of self-protection to deal with this disappointment, when in reality it only brings you down. It can make you doubt your needs in the relationship, which in turn can lead to zero expectations. And that while expectations and needs are precisely the foundation of a good relationship.

It is often difficult to realize that your partner simply cannot give you what you need. In this case, there are two scenarios to choose from:

  • Adjust your expectations of your partner by acknowledging their limitations, and finding ways to meet your own needs.
  • Decide if you are sure that you can move forward in this relationship.

Flexibility and compromise

The psychologist says that sometimes seeing your partner every day comes with a number of obstacles – think: fatigue, mobility, etc. But if you want to see your partner every day, and your partner wants to be seen, then this is your common need. If your partner indicates that they think it’s a very good thing to see each other every day, then this need may not be realistic. And if that is not realistic, compromise is a good way out. This is the same as adjusting for your needs, because your partner also has his own needs. But don’t forget that a healthy relationship is created when you and your partner are open to some flexibility if you have different opinions about something.

Emotionally unavailable

We’ve all experienced it: Sometimes we have “needs” in situations that just can’t be met. For example, going out with people who are emotionally unavailable can make it seem like you are the problem. And that while they are the problem. It is simply – almost – impossible to expose your needs to someone who cannot fulfill them and has an agenda of their own. Unfortunately, it is often the case that if you really love someone, it can cost you upside down. You keep giving this person another chance, when they have already shown what they are like as a person. And that’s a shame!

Let’s face it, dating itself is hard enough, so date people who are clear and direct about their intentions. In addition, make your needs and expectations clearly known and see how you respond to them. Be clear, but also friendly, express your expectations and watch their reactions. Easy like that! And while the word “needy” has a negative undertone, this is your chance to accept it. Every human being has needs and nothing to be ashamed of!

Source: Good and Good | Image: iStock

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