Sunny and her boyfriend went to therapy together: ‘MOT turns on our relationship’

You could easily spend 100€ for a session with a couple at a Relationship Therapist. 150 EUR is also calculated as hourly wages. and everything in between.

Couples therapy is not included in the basic insurance package. Normally you have to cough up that money yourself. Sometimes, under certain circumstances, you will be compensated by an additional insurance policy, for example in CZ.

As a psychosocial therapist, Jolande Rommens-Musquetier helps couples who can no longer come to an agreement. She sees in her practice every workday how impactful relationship problems can be. “It causes a lot of misery and tension within the family. It’s very mentally stressful for everyone involved, just like burnout or depression.”

Impact on children

And there are often children involved. “They naturally suffer from conflict.”

For these reasons, Rommins would find it more than justifiable if relationship therapy fell under basic compensation: “It would be nice if it became available to everyone.”

Paul Vogel — also a relationship therapist — agrees. “Someone who is having serious relationship problems often gets stuck. Your focus can be affected and that can lead to failure at work.”

delay

Reason enough to work on love problems. But, in part because of the cost, people sometimes put off relationship therapy for too long, according to Vogel.

Sunny Plantinga and her friend Friso took the bull by the horns and sat together on the proverbial wizard’s couch. “Application APK”.

To break the ban on this, they videotaped part of the conversations and showed parts of it in their YouTube vlog ‘Netherlands’ Most Beautiful Dads’.

Sanne explains why she and Friso made the move three years ago: “We have two kids, now ages 5 and 7. As parents of young children, you run the risk of getting caught up in everything that needs to be done within the family.”

Good conversation has often been bogged down by all the hustle and bustle: “Talking about what you’re facing or what’s bothering you can be very difficult. With us, it’s easy to get bogged down in arguments and reprimands: take up too much space, for example. Or: how quickly you get angry.”

In some conversations – often short-lived relationship therapy – Sunny and Frizzo gain insight into the patterns in which they have become entangled. “It’s very nice when someone is watching from the outside and noticing things. If you’re angry, you do it. And then you respond that way. The therapist also thinks about what you need as a couple.”

with a hatchet

In particular, there was more mutual understanding: “I now see better why he gets angry when I approach him with an ax in conversations, so to speak. And he has more insight into why I feel lonely sometimes.”

As far as Sunny is concerned, no one should be ashamed of relationship problems or therapy. “If there are things you can’t figure out, why not seek help?”

And as far as she’s concerned, it’s best not to do it until it’s too late: “Now we’re going through some things we want someone to think about. Things don’t go wrong, we want to prevent that. If love exists, you have to make sure it doesn’t break.”

SGP Search: Also a free love lesson

The SGP would like to see the number of divorces – and therefore also confrontational divorces – go down. The party believes that professional support from the government can help with this.

The party commissioned Kantar Public to conduct an opinion poll. More than 1,000 people participated. Of the participants, 59 percent said they thought couples therapy compensation was a good initiative.

Also, 63% like to teach love relationships in schools. 60% support campaigns about the negative consequences of divorce.

You can read more results and information about the study here.

The ChristenUnie has long advocated for free relationship therapy in the House of Representatives.

Reimbursement from basic insurance might make the move even smaller for Sunny and Friso: “It’s not at the top of the shopping list right now. My daughter’s winter coat comes first anyway.”

undesirable effect

While relationship therapy can also save costs: “If you prevent divorce with it, for example.”

Therapist Romers Musketeer also sees a potential undesirable effect of offset couples therapy. “It could lead to longer waiting lists in health care, for example, if psychologists at GZ also start offering them.”

She continues, “When people make the move to see a therapist, they like to start working within a few weeks. Otherwise, things sometimes blow up. If a partner cheats, for example.”

you really want

Looking at love problems honestly, Romers says, can be confrontational. “There are often things that haven’t been discussed before. Both partners need to be willing to work hard and make a move.”

So couples therapy should never be done – as the therapist asserts – “just because you can stop it.” “If I have this idea that couples want to come and do it just so I can say they’ve tried everything, I’d advise them not to. Then there’s no point in that.”

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