Mother Marjolene in EO ‘Lost Children’

Ronald, 53, and Marjolene, 52, have three children together: Florijn, 17, Gondar, 14, and Lind, 12. Their two boys are gifted, have ADHD and ASD (autism spectrum disorder, ed.). Lindy is talented. This creates many additional challenges. Not only at home, but especially at school, children need good guidance. In EO’s “The Lost Children” documentary, the family shares everything they’ve been up against.

Because of their talent, Marjolene and Ronald’s children find it difficult to integrate into the normal education system. Marjolene and her husband do everything they can to find an appropriate education. They also turn to youth welfare for help. If a suitable education is not found for Florijn, it is recommended that he be placed in foster care.

Marjolene: “Looking back, we saw very early on that there was something different about our eldest son compared to the other kids. You read in the books how development should go and we thought: This is different with us. The point where it became really clear was when Florin went into phase Preschool. For a year, he only spoke a few loose words while the other kids could already speak softly, but suddenly he spoke complete sentences within three weeks.” Not only does everything seem different with Florijn, but it soon also becomes clear that things were different with Gondar and Linde. Lindy started with her first words at eight months.

Participation in formal education

Marjolene wanted to share her children’s developments, but she also ran into misunderstandings. “Sometimes people don’t want to believe your child is actually talking. They soon think he’s bragging, which sometimes made me feel insecure. You want to share it, but how?” regulars, but in the Netherlands the family faced a wall of impossibilities.

The teachers advised me to give the medicine to my children

“We felt tremendous resistance from many professionals to offering us tailored help. We were told of many deciding factors, such as: ‘Your child is just as unique as all other children.’ Schools often don’t want to make exceptions, your child has to go on a school trip, For example. But for my child, sitting on a bus with fifty other children is not a good idea at all. On the other hand, you have an exceptional situation that you want to keep to help your children, but you also want your child to participate as naturally as possible. I have often been advised by teachers Giving my kids medicine.”

Talent support

However, Marjolene and Ronald never give up and continue to fight for proper education and assistance for their children. “Fortunately, there were also schools willing to put their shoulders on the wheel. Treasures of teachers who contributed ideas and temporary solutions created. As a result, Florijn previously witnessed developments that were considered impossible and reached a point where he would never have reached. The further we go on talking With each other better, things were better with my kids. Both in the classroom and outside of it.”

Florijn, Gondar, and Linde all need a lot of individual attention. Marjolene spends almost all of her time supporting the children as best she can. Therefore, she knows very well what her children need. “They need to be able to trust us blindly and need lots of hugs, love, warmth, security and guidance. They also need practical help, for example with planning and organisation. Things that are naturally independent for other children require a lot of learning for my children. My kids make up 95 percent of my life.” For Margoline, this has two sides: sometimes it is very heavy, but at the same time there is a very strong mutual bond.

placement outside the home

And no matter how hard they try, they cannot convince the authorities of the seriousness and complexity of the situation. Proposals for proper help and education are not enough for the three children. The eldest child ends up in a psychological crisis. Several investigations follow, but Ronald and Margolin don’t feel they are being taken seriously. We felt we had no control over the situation. We were always told there were “concerns,” but what exactly there were and how we might resolve them wasn’t clear. It brought a lot of uncertainty and fears.”

The fear you feel then is sickening

In this case, there was also an opportunity to take the children out of the house. “We just felt like things weren’t going to get better. Our kids had a hard time dealing with it. They’re very sensitive, so without even talking about it, they knew something was wrong. They felt our stress in every fiber. Together with our child psychiatrist, we prepared them as much as possible.” The possibility of the possibility of being put in detention. We got up and went to bed with this threat. The fear you feel then is sickening.”

EO series “The Lost Children”

The moment they are in the middle of this situation, they decide to tell their story in the EO Series missing children From Sahar Maradji. “We struggled a lot with that. We were at the end of our rope. But we all felt like we had to show it. It was very hard, because it’s so raw. Luckily, we were followed by a very nice documentary filmmaker. The love and care for us was amazing. Of course you can easily choose.” Only the bad moments, but Sahar also shows our intense love for each other and concern for the children, and that’s the gist.”

In regards to Margoline, the portrayed of talent is often incorrect and hopes to gain more knowledge on the subject. “Talent is something out of reach for many people. It is often thought that if you are above average intelligent: you should be able to do what the average person can do, and more. The majority of talented people do not fit this stereotype at all. They think differently. Just as a weak gifted brain entails problems, so does a gifted brain.”

About the documentary missing children

Problem Family: We know the concept, but what is it actually? How are things in such a house? And what is causing the problems? Documentary filmmaker Sahar Maraji searches for answers in a four-part EO documentary series missing childrenn. For three months, Sahar was immersed in the lives of three “problem families”. She would spend time with them daily, sometimes for 24 hours at a time. “I hope to give the viewer, as well as welfare institutions and government, a good picture of what happens in a problem family. I have previously made series about abuse, addiction and crime, such as Tygo in the GHB and Vernaedd. In the research phase, many people said they came from a troubled family It made me curious about how upbringing in such a family would work. With the missing children it showed.”

the whole story

Curious how Marjolin and Ronald’s family are now? Then watch November 21-24 at 22:00 in EO on NPO 3 missing children. Where you can watch the full story of the Marjolin family.

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