“Living with an ex-convict was naive”

Gwen (38) Her exchanges are reliable Josh for “heavy boy” black CrowAn Icelandic prisoner you know from an online game. After his release, they move in together, but he goes down the wrong path again and sucks her into his misery.

Gwen (38): “Through an online game I played on my phone, I met Raven: a nice, sweet guy who always asked how I was and how my day was. Sometimes I didn’t hear anything for a while, then suddenly after a few days he went back online and We “talked” again. Over time, our conversations became more personal. At that time I wasn’t very happy with my relationship with Joss and I shared that with Raven. He told me to be honest with my partner and express how I felt. At that time he didn’t insist at all on meeting me at Real life and he always kept it tidy He was just such a nice conversation partner and listening ear which I miss so much.

One day he wrote that he had something in his mind that he wanted to share with me for a long time, but was afraid to cut it off. On a sudden stop he told that he was in jail in Iceland. Of course, I was shocked, because it turned out that I was dealing with a criminal. Especially when I heard he was in prison for drug trafficking. However, it was not right for me to leave him. He said he was very sorry for what he had done, especially because it had hurt his family, and was determined to make his life better. Just a house, a job and who knows, maybe a wife and kids…

awesome exciting

I became more and more fond of Raven, and in the meantime the cold distance between Joss and I grew. Sometimes I imagined what it would be like if Raven and I met each other. Could something really blossom between us? We exchanged pictures and I found him very attractive. I hated the idea that when he came out there would be another woman waiting for him. Did I want to be that woman? There were many questions running through my head, but I was especially pleased with the attention Raven gave me every day.

One evening – I was alone in the house – Raven called me with a picture. That was terribly exciting. I gave him a little tour of my house and he showed me his room. After this call, we talked a lot, sometimes several times a day, and this is how Raven gradually crept into my life. Gus, of course, noticed that I was on my phone a lot and completely absent the rest of the time. This caused friction, which made the atmosphere between us even worse. At one point, Joss thought it was a good thing I was constantly talking on my phone. I don’t think he cares anymore because we stopped caring about each other. Months passed without any major change. I lived with Joss and had strong feelings for Raven, but he was somewhere far away in Iceland.

Some dangerous

Everything started to change when Raven called me one day to tell me that he was going to be released in six weeks and that he would also get two weeks off leading up to this release. He asked if I wanted to come to Iceland so we could see if we felt this strong connection in real life. I decided it was time to tell Gus the truth. Our relationship had been in trouble for a long time and I wanted to end it. Bolstered by the idea that I was going to see Raven, I started the conversation with Gus. It was on fire. He asked me if I was okay about being involved with a detainee. It wasn’t until he noticed that my decision was made that he came to his senses. He said he was tired of me and our relationship for the ages. It simply struck him that someone else was actually involved, and that he was also a criminal, he thought it was even worse.

Three weeks later, she travels to Iceland, where she meets Raven at a hotel. He arrived late and entered the lobby with three other men and got into a conversation. It looked broad and even dangerous and a little hot. I’m starting to wonder if I did the right thing by flying here for someone I barely knew. These doubts were allayed when he joined me at the bar an hour later. He said it was all there for me now. Take me to dinner. I felt in love. Of course I wondered what those around me would think if they heard I had traded in my trusty Josie for this “heavy guy,” who I thought bench pressed every day and was clearly not to be messed with. On the other hand… life with Gus was boring. Raven gave me a sense of excitement that I haven’t felt in a long time.

bed spread

I’ve been to Iceland twice in total. The second time around, Raven and I started making plans for the future. He asked if I could arrange for us to move in together. Once I got home, I contacted a real estate agent who had some homes for rent. Once in Holland, Raven was able to work for a friend who traded in vintage cars, and I had my job as a teacher. I was offered a house for rent of 1,400 euros a month; A huge amount, but Raven believes that together we can do a good job. Because Gus wanted to stay at our old house with the things we both share, I got the car and some money. I used this amount to furnish our house. When you went to buy a new sofa or bed, Raven shopped over video calls. He was really looking forward to starting our future together. It was actually released in October. I picked him up from Schiphol and drove him to our new home. I was overjoyed.

Raven just started acting very strange almost immediately. He was often absent and snappy, including with my son. He was not tidying up the house at home, and little of that hard work paid off. I talked to him about it and he said he needed time to adjust. It was very difficult to suddenly be in the regulars of family life.

I myself suffered stress too, from him, from the high rent, from the bills that kept falling and from my ex who constantly said he would do everything he could to take our son away from me, because you left your child. You wouldn’t live under the same roof with an ex-felon, would you? ? After a few months, things got better for Raven. He went to work with relatives, brought money, but when I finally thought we were getting some air, a brand new Mercedes suddenly appeared at the door. He took it for a test drive and came to get me for a little drive and get the car registered in my name right away. Of course I wondered how he got the money to buy such an expensive car, but I didn’t dare ask. He can get angry if he doesn’t like something. Then I got a little scared of him.

Not a fairy tale

I lived with Raven for nine months. It wasn’t a fairy tale, far from it. The story that he was going to improve his life and wanted to stay on the right path turned out to be a fabrication. He was aggressive, drank a lot and got one ticket after another, which I had to pay because the car was in my name. You made a big mistake. This should have ended.

One day Raven left early in the morning and never came back. Stop answering my calls and messages. I panicked and felt in my water that something wasn’t quite right. Three days later I got a call from the police telling me Raven had been arrested in Spain for drug possession. At that moment my light went out.

How could he leave me like this? In this financial mess! I couldn’t afford the high rent on my own, so I couldn’t continue living in the house. For a while I thought about stocking up on my beautiful and new things, but when it became clear how many unpaid bills I had, I decided to sell everything via Marktplaats and pay off as many debts as possible. Whatever I had put so much effort and money into, I had to get rid of. My son and I moved in with my sister. I made arrangements for all the fines Raven received that I couldn’t pay. I also had several conversations with the police and victim support. It transpired from those conversations that I had become a victim of someone who had deliberately done everything possible to have a base here in Holland after his release, a place where he could put his affairs in order again. So there was no click or crush with him. That insight and all the stress that came with it — the fear that Raven would contact me again after his release, the financial troubles it caused — made me completely unravel.

Now I do a little better. I no longer have debts, but, unfortunately, I have not succeeded in building a new, good life. It’s hard without a place to live. I feel sad even now when I think how I thoughtlessly threw myself into this adventure. How would my life have ended if I hadn’t done business with him? I know people think I’m naive, but Raven really captivated me with everything he said and did. It’s unbelievable that I allowed myself to be used in this way. Nor because he is unscrupulous.”

Text: Natasja Bijl | Photo: Abbat (Unsplash)

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