There is a lot of discussion, your schedule is packed, gift buying, people against and a lot of arranging. You’re not busy, but your relationship is also having a hard time. So there is a good chance that you will end up again in the same plant as last year. But how do you prevent this year?
What is the budget, what is left for Christmas gifts and Sinterklaas? Discuss this beforehand with your partner (or the rest of the family), so you both know where you stand. Make a list together and stick to it.
where are we going
Do you celebrate Sinterklaas with your parents every year, or do you celebrate it multiple times? Where do you go for Christmas and how do you want to celebrate New Year’s Eve? If this does not cause any problems or problems, then there is no need to worry. But for many, it is often a mandatory outing. The best thing you can do is divide all the days well. For example, Sinterklaas at home, Christmas with his parents and New Year’s Day you visit your parents, or you celebrate it with friends. And you can rotate this every year, but make that negotiable up front. But traveling back and forth at Christmas, often with kids, and your schedule full of plans, doesn’t make anyone happy. You can also invite both parents to your home and celebrate Sinterklaas alternately with your parents. Lots of options, discuss together what is right for you both.
One sip is too many
Having a drink here and dinner there can be great fun, but not everyone likes it. Drink often ruins more than you want it to and so it’s not really about the drink. The behavior that follows and the problems that all this causes. Make clear agreements about who will stay alert when you leave and take your partner into account to avoid misunderstandings.
Didn’t you celebrate Christmas with gifts in the past, but did you celebrate Sinterklaas with rhymes and surprises? Or do your in-laws love to lie on the couch together, while you get tired just thinking about it. You’d rather go out together and play games together the next day.
Traditions made in your youth have a great deal of emotional impact. Everyone is attached to how things are going at home and are less flexible when it comes to adopting other traditions. There is also a great deal of clarity here, what your wants and needs are and together make a plan for what you want to do. One year your way and the next year his way and combine the two ideas or create your own tradition.
If your sister-in-law always drinks, your mother-in-law always has something to say, or if your sister-in-law is always late, you can’t change it. If you already know what motivates you, think of another way to deal with this beforehand. Pour yourself a glass of wine or a cup of tea and get out of the situation, take a deep breath and be yourself. Don’t always be on the defensive, but stay calm and calm inside.
Agree with your partner in advance on a sign if you need his help. When you know there is a plan, it is often easier to pass the time in a comfortable way. Because everything you care about is growing, so focus on a fun evening or a day with your family.
Attention and love
When an expensive gift for one person represents love, the other is more interested in practical, useful things. The amount of gifts or money does not equal the amount of love, although not everyone thinks the same. To avoid disappointment and irritation, agree on this in advance with each other to agree on the amount. This often comes in handy in large groups, but in any case with your partner.
Too busy! Make time for each other
Everyone is always busy, with your family life, your work, your social obligations, etc. And then in December comes a good dose: shopping for gifts, decor and Christmas drinks and all the hassles of other commitments. Stress around the holidays, how do you deal with it?
So the time for each other is less than before. How do you make up for it? How to keep your relationship alive and well during this time. Make time each day for a few minutes of caring, express your appreciation and give extra hugs. Attention and love take almost no time. What do you focus your attention on? About love or pressure? You make it more relaxing at home when you focus on everything that makes you grateful and happy than you do when you just think about how busy you are. A small gesture, thank you for all the small and big things your partner does for you, say you love each other, an extra hug every day.
This way you ensure that the dark days become days when you can make beautiful memories. Unfortunately, for many people, dark days are also a time when they feel lonely more quickly or just don’t feel comfortable. You know, I can make you feel better with a number of training sessions. Do you have someone in your area who deserves to feel better, send me my details or give me their details and I will call you back. As a reward you get a big hug from me. X
Enjoy the days together!