The woman about her nose affair

When I walk in front of a group of people, I try to subtly hide my face with my hands or turn my head away. If someone takes a picture of me, I have to look at it before it’s allowed to be online or at all. And my profile pictures? I do everything in my power to prevent them from being taken. I taught myself from a young age how to stand so that in every photo my nose appears small, and therefore as “pretty” as possible.

Since I can remember, my nose was the biggest feeling of insecurity. I’m Iraqi, but I often hear that it doesn’t have to be very clear to me. Except for my nose permission. I have what you call a typical “Arabian nose”. It is large, striking and has a bulge on the bridge of the nose.

When I was eleven years old I started talking about rhinoplasty. As a teenager, I often wondered why I didn’t have a “normal” nose and why I didn’t look like my girlfriends. Not surprising, because I grew up in a white environment where few people of color live. That gave me a certain meaning, and with that came a cute little nose.

I am 25 years old now and have done nothing to my nose yet. Secretly I long to have a nose that I love. But I long for a moment when I’m truly grateful for my nose. As a proud Arab woman, I just want to embrace my background and everything that goes with it. But I’d be lying if I pretended my insecurities were over. On TikTok, I see one side profile check after another. Some with noses many think would be the perfect shape, often before and after photos of the procedures. Others are with filters that are supposed to make your nose “ugly”. But I also see videos where our “nose” are actually being hugged.

In an interview with Vogue magazine Bella Hadid admitted that she regrets her rhinoplasty. The model, who has Palestinian and Dutch roots, underwent the operation when she was 14 years old. “If I kept my grandparents’ nose,” Hadid said in the interview. Such statements make me think. Suppose I was to consider rhinoplasty, would I lose a part of my identity and my background? A piece of me?

Western beauty ideals spread on social media. And they don’t always make self-acceptance easy. Although I don’t know if “acceptance” is the word I’m looking for. Why do we always talk about acceptance, as if it were actually a bad thing?

I spoke to three women to find out where our insecurities come from, about what it means to be bullied because of your nose, about the impact of social media on the ideal of beauty and what rhinoplasty can do for your self-image.

Dima, 21

Witch-nose, crow, or other big-nosed animal – you’ve all heard it. At first I thought I was the only one who saw it, but comments like this assured me that my nose was really big. At school I saw quite a few people who looked like me, which made me even more insecure.

When I became active as an influencer and started working with brands, I started editing my photos. Social media has made me more aware of my nose. At one point I was so preoccupied with it that it became an obsession. I was crying a lot, I wasn’t really happy. That is why I had rhinoplasty in Turkey a few years ago.

I have a very wide reach on social media and I still get a lot of questions about rhinoplasty. I am a Muslim and cosmetic procedures are not allowed in reality, we consider it a sin. Now, even though I chose to change something about myself, I don’t want others to make the same mistake, because they saw it in me. In addition, I do not want young girls to feel that the nose is only beautiful when it is young. I do not wish to advise or answer questions about my procedure.

If I could go back in time, I honestly wouldn’t have had rhinoplasty. It also took a part of my identity. I am Syrian and everyone immediately sees that I am Arab or Middle Eastern, but now you don’t see that at all. People now think I’m European. When I look at Arab women now, and they have a bump or a hooked nose, I think that’s very beautiful.

I asked my doctor at the time if he could give me a small nose. I wanted the opposite of what I had, I really wanted as small as possible. Baby nose, huh. I realize now: This isn’t really normal. The nose I have now does not match my face at all. Then I realized that we were all brought into the world the way we should look at it. I’m really sorry I didn’t see that sooner, it makes me so sad.

A lot of people have warned me beforehand and told me that I am beautiful, but even if the whole world says it, you have to find yourself beautiful and learn to value yourself. Now people sometimes call me pig, so if I do that to others, it’s never good. When I see pictures from the past, I think: look how beautiful you were, Dima. If only I could go back in time and say that to myself before I went to that operating room.

I want to say to all the people who are going through this: Please think carefully about it. It is not a temporary filling that you can remove again. You cannot go back after a nose job. I think that’s why we should teach the next generation that every nose is beautiful, no matter how big, small, straight or crooked. And how important is self-love.

Farah, 28

You are incredibly insecure. I used to get bullied a lot on my nose, by family members, friends and school. Everyone was always making comments about it, and that had a huge impact on my self-image. I came to think my nose was ugly. It cost me a lot of energy. When I was talking to someone, I was only interested in how to stand, so that my nose would look nicer or less pronounced.

This uncertainty increased, so I started adjusting my nose on the photos to make them look smaller. When I looked at those pictures I thought: I’m shit. She finally felt beautiful and posted the photos on Instagram.

I often considered rhinoplasty during that time. In fact: I applied for a visa to go to Iran, to have my nose done there. The money, the doctor, and everything around him were already arranged. But for some reason, my visa application kept getting rejected. My order was eventually accepted, but I never showed up. My mother said, “If you do your nose, you’re not my joy anymore.” If I’m not her joy anymore, what am I to myself?

During the time editing my photos and considering rhinoplasty, I found that I wasn’t really satisfied. Then I looked at such an edited photo and thought: Well, if I plasticize my nose, I should already slightly fill my chin with filler. The idea that it wouldn’t be good enough and I’d never be satisfied was a scary one, because I’m already good The son of. I also deny. The nose gives personality. It just gives that special thing to your face. I don’t judge when people choose to have rhinoplasty if it makes them happy. Everyone is free to do that, but I don’t want it anymore.

Now I no longer share edited photos, but only my side profile, full of pride. I saw Maya Samaha Post a picture of her face. She was incredibly beautiful, right through her nose. After seeing it and more and more people taking pictures like this, I dreamed of being able to do that too. So I thought: Why can’t I? Then I collected myself well and my picture from the side. Since then I have suddenly become in love with my nose. I love a crooked nose, a lump in your nose, and a big nose. I love everything about it.

I also hate when people say: I love your flaws. My nose is not a defect. I’m Moroccan/Berber, we are known for our big noses and I’m proud of that.

I don’t necessarily post these pictures to inspire people, but I do show that I’m proud of my looks. I receive daily specials from people thanking me for it, because I showed them that their noses are as beautiful as they are. Some say I even motivated them not to undergo rhinoplasty. It sounds cliched, but things like that make me so happy.

Although I have become very confident that I still get bad comments from time to time. “With your big nose”, or such things. I was recently at the supermarket where I was working and spoke with an ex-colleague who said, “You’re really so handsome, if you only do your nose.” I thought this was a strange comment.

Belgana, 29

From group 3 of primary school kids they started bullying my nose. If your face is small, you will notice if your nose is large or bulging. me too. Kids can be mean.

I also got feedback later, eg on checkout. When I passed a crowded terrace I tried to run as fast as I could, turn my head away or wear sunglasses so my nose was not clearly visible. If I was not interested in a man who appealed to me, I often heard something like: “What do you think about your nose” – while I was interesting before. Experiments like this made me insecure, making me photoshop my nose in pictures, for example. I’ve always been upfront about it with my social media followers. I wasn’t always insecure either: Some days I told myself I was beautiful, even with a nose that wasn’t ‘perfect’.

When I was 27, I had enough money for a rhinoplasty, so I traveled to Turkey. I don’t think I lost my identity because of it, because I look the way it is. My nose is still not ‘perfect’, the puffiness has just gone away. It made me feel so confident about how I look now. As a content creator, I sometimes attend press events, where photos are often taken unexpectedly. I don’t have any problems with that anymore.

My parents inherited bullying and insecurity during my childhood. Although they always said I was really beautiful, even with that bump on my nose, they thought it was important for me to be happy. Even if it means changing something in my face. This is also where I stand now because I am a mother. I wouldn’t encourage her, but if it’s really a struggle for my baby, I think his happiness is more important and I won’t hold her back.

I’m also open about it on social media. I once did a Q&A about it on Instagram, where people can ask me all about rhinoplasty. Two girls went to the same doctor as me afterwards. I didn’t want to encourage him with this round of questions, but I wanted to be transparent. If your nose is truly insecure, it should be possible. I hope people don’t underestimate him. Rhinoplasty is an operation, in which there is always a risk of complications. So I hope people don’t change their noses because they see a trend on social media. Trends change seasonally, and so do beauty standards.

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