“A mixed family, just like any other relationship, can pick up on old hurts,” Dickers says. “If you grew up thinking that you’re unimportant and forget yourself quickly, a blended family can be a complex challenge.”
“Steps don’t generally find a big plus in their lives. They are sometimes great at making that feeling clearly noticeable, for example through their constant memories of mom and dad together. If you’re sensitive to it, it can be distressing and cause uncertainty or stress. “.
Dickers says this feeling can either cause or strengthen one’s partner, as is the case with Nikki. “You feel pushed aside. This can cause the stepmother to hate her stepchildren, because they make her feel that way. Again: resolve this first as a married couple, because it is separated from the children.”
Deckers says that the interests of children (the apprentices) and their right to grow up lovingly and safely should be a pioneer. According to her, it’s nice to realize that it takes time to get a blended family down the road. “Count on about five to seven years. During that time, you go through all kinds of phases – from rose-colored glasses to reality checks – and you end up at the acceptance stage. Then hopefully the long table full of fun becomes a reality.”