English newspapers rarely have a hard time filling their pages, but someone like Erling Braut Haaland makes it very easy for them these days. Not because, when England’s footballers rose to the art, he would walk out of the nightclub every night drunk with a romper on every finger, but because as a Manchester City striker he scores goals as easily as he breathes.
And when you score on a production streak – 20 goals in his first 12 games for Manchester City – you are more famous than anyone else. And if you’re famous, every step you take is news and every fart smells good, although we dare question that in Haaland’s case.
the sun I posted a story about the documentary last week Haaland: The big one resolution, who – which Currently in Viplay.
The title was above the story:
“Haa-nibal the cannibal”. Reference to cannibal Hannibal Lecter, the main character in silence lambs has not been Once out of reach. In the documentary, in which former Norwegian footballer Jan-Age Fjoortoft visits Haaland in Manchester, the super striker’s diet is discussed at length, and it does not consist of a few brown sandwiches with cheese and the occasional banana. His fridge and freezer are similar to that of a serial killer who first kills his victims and then cuts them into pieces, then boils and freezes their guts for later consumption. In the case of Haaland, of course, it is not the guts of a human being, but of a cow.
Fjoortoft: “What is this?”
Fjørtoft: “And this?”
We can’t see Fjørtoft’s face, otherwise we would undoubtedly have seen a deep frown on his forehead, but Haaland’s face remains neatly arranged: “I care deeply about my body, especially when it comes to food.”
Beef heart and liver
If you’ve never seen Erling Haaland on a soccer field, you’ll think you’re dealing with a cartoon character with a cartoon head instead of being the most popular soccer player at the moment. Everything about him is atypical. It looks thin, but it is very strong. It looks woody, but it’s just as solid as a Stradivarius. Hence he doesn’t have the smartest eyes among all the footballers we know, but he’s probably the smartest of any. You can say that you are a miner, but you are also smart about football, otherwise you will not put many balls in the basket while you have the fewest ball contacts of all during the match.
It’s also very unusual: it has all the external characteristics of a teenager who spends all day on the couch playing PlayStation and surviving on energy drinks and junk food, but that’s far from the truth. So he eats cow’s heart and liver like a Big Mac is delicious, but he knows that because of all the phosphorous, iron and magnesium in those organs it gets stronger than such a dripping burger. In addition, he drinks only water. Not straight from the tap, but of course it’s filtered first.
Is this the? of course not.
The master also likes to dive into an ice bath the Wim Hof style and also seems to wear blue glasses before going to bed so he can sleep better. Most you’d expect from a health freak like Cristiano Ronaldo, but he’s exactly the one Haaland learned the trick from. When he moved from Borussia Dortmund to Manchester City for €60m last summer, he almost immediately sought out the kitchen staff at his new club. He is said to have said, to the amusement of everyone in the players’ restaurant: “You will be my favourite.”
At Norway’s Molde club, where he made his senior debut under coach Ole Gunnar Solskjaer, he is also remembered as a boy with a healthy appetite, as we see in the Viaplay documentary. “Haaland was always the closest to the buffet,” says his former physical trainer. When he came he weighed 73 kilograms, but a year later the scales showed a massive increase of 20 kilograms.
Haaland said of that anecdote: “I ate like a horse and the Norwegian meatballs were delicious.”