“I’m afraid I threw at least 20,000 euros over the crossbar’

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Money has never been an issue in the Amber family, but her addiction to online gambling has caused a lot of problems in recent years. She was in treatment for six months.

Amber (37), married to Sjors (44), works as a marketing manager and mother of two daughters, ages 6 and 8:

“Sjors is a very successful entrepreneur. I also get paid very well; we really have nothing to complain about. My mother regularly says: ‘Anything is possible with you always.’” She points to our spending pattern, which is actually very excessive in many areas. .

I drive a new car every two years, just because I love it. We have a house on the water and a boat at the jetty and there are years we go on vacation four times. Our girls are always looking forward to crossing the ring, just like me. I rarely pay attention to the price. If I like it or like it, I buy it.

“Money Must Roll” is a motto that Sewers and I use

The fact that Sjors is so comfortable about it makes it a lot easier for me. I have a friend who has to account for every expense on her husband. This will make me nervous “Money has to roll” is a mantra that Sewers and I use. However, it has become very difficult and especially illogical to me in recent years.

night out

Before Corona, Sears and I would regularly go out for an evening. Then we started in a good restaurant and then went to the casino. I love the thrill of gambling. I love the whole atmosphere. Of course it’s nicer when I come home with a big win, but my heart races just as hard when someone else makes a lot of money through the game.

Sjors can always stop well. not me. I am immeasurable, in many things. For example, I can’t stick to one glass of wine either. Give me at least a full bottle – that’s why I rarely drink. Fortunately, Sjors always knows how to slow me down in the casino. When he says enough at the end of an evening, I protest a little more, but then I go with him.

gambling online

When the casinos had to close their doors, I was very disappointed. This is where our evening went. The shutdowns hit me hard. I had to work from home and had kids too 24/7. At the end of the day, I was completely turned off; I’m not a teacher, I’ve done my job under a lot of tension and have always calmed disagreements between girls.

“I was doing my job under a lot of tension and I was constantly working to calm the differences between the girls”

I didn’t see the risk of online gambling as dangerous. I deserved that relaxation, and besides; What else can I do? We don’t have a dog I can walk with. And you certainly shouldn’t touch me by reading, I’m just impatient for that. I need a little excitement and this is what the online casino gave me. One of the first online gambling I won 2000 euros. I showed it to Sjors who reacted far from enthusiastic. “Pay attention, if there’s one thing that’s addictive, it’s it,” he said. I didn’t want to hear that.

Read also – “I was addicted to shopping” >


Turns out this sweet profit was a one-time deal. Every now and then I was in a plus sign, but not for long. You bet the money you won again – and more. I allowed myself to gamble online once a week. I experienced that moment and often didn’t. Then after four or five days I turned out to be too weak and I thought it was possible, only ten minutes later. It just doesn’t work that way. Ten minutes becomes an hour and before I know it I bet a new amount. Sometimes I gamble up to 500 euros in one evening, in stages.

I manage our finances at home, so Sjors didn’t notice. Sometimes I pay it from my own account, then again from our joint account or I transfer something from a savings account. I haven’t told him yet. There was nothing pleasant to report; I just lost below the line.

I kept telling myself to stop. Every time will be the last time. I knew I had an addiction, but I pushed it away. It was because of Corona. I was tense. It will stop on its own. I had an excuse for everything, I lied to myself. Meanwhile I was getting more and more depressed, I was feeling worse and worse.

The last time

Sjors discovered it six months ago. He searched for a debit in our bank account and found all the amounts he did not recognize; once 150 euros, then another 300 euros; Always round the sums. I had to expose the buttocks. In fact: I also wanted to expose my buttocks.

As an evening at the casino with Sjors gave me such a good feeling, online gambling was taking over me. I thought about it almost day and night. And it was super easy at your fingertips too; I just did it on my phone. Every day I got an offer of free spins or coins in my email: if you buy 100 you get another 50 – this works. I couldn’t resist it.

“He was so shocked that I was very unhappy with his presence.”

I confessed to Sajour Bdmoi what is happening. I was terribly shocked. Not so much because of all the money I just paid, but because I was very unhappy with his presence; not noticed. Sjors had fully devoted himself to the cause during Corona. We hardly had time for each other. We were tired, angry and full of worries. Instead of seeing and supporting each other, I ran into something that had always given me a short-range kick. Stupid and a huge waste of money.


I’m in treatment now and it’s going well. I have an app on my phone and computer that blocks all gambling sites. I still get paid by all those ads for online gambling. If you think about it, isn’t it ridiculous that people are tempted to spend their money this way?

I’m sure I won’t have a relapse, although I should always be on the alert. The will to stop was really inside of me, which makes a difference. I no longer wanted to sponsor gambling companies and couldn’t take it any longer because I was ruthless with money while many others had to remit every cent.

“More than we think suffer from gambling addiction”

I have a one-on-one meeting with a psychologist once a week and I also have a group online meeting once a week. I’m not the only one who has this problem, more people have this problem than we think. I still feel very ashamed of it. I always thought this was for teenage boys or cowards, at least not for a full-time working mother of two.

I don’t know if I dare tell my girls. In any case, I do not dare to calculate what I threw over the bar. I’m afraid it’s at least 20,000 euros. We could have done a lot better with it – if only I had donated it to charity.”

This article appears on Kek Mama 09-2022.

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