“I took my children from their father and I should never have done that’

“There are more things in my life that I regret, but one thing that really bothers me. My kids are currently re-acquainting with their father after not seeing him for twenty years. All this time they haven’t been open about it. Like me, they were mad at him and didn’t want anything With him. For me, I felt nothing more than fair. Then my ex should not be so spoiled. I convinced myself of my mistake, a big bump. But now that I saw how happy my children were that they communicated with their father again, how they thrive, and even indicate that they They found a precious piece of themselves, I think: I should have done things differently back then. Instead of thwarting the connection between my children and their parents, I should have encouraged it…Unfortunately, I couldn’t do that twenty years ago.”

“I was once very happy with Michel. He saved me from a bad relationship. After I had to literally fight for my life for years, I found peace with him. Michel spoiled me to the bone and he would do anything for me. Once we moved in together, he didn’t go A long time before our first child was born. The second followed two years later. How happy I was.”

“But after ten great years it fell apart. Michelle had a job that often required him to travel abroad. I was on my own for those periods. Parents’ evenings, making sure the kids came to gyms, and taking care of them if something was wrong… I did…” It’s all on my own. When Michel came home, we argued a lot. I thought he had changed, he was too far away. However, I still fully trusted him. I thought Michelle was the most sincere person in the business, but I eventually found out that he was in a relationship An affair with a colleague for a few years. When he was abroad, she was with him. I think this would be a blow to any woman. But it was so unbearable for me that after my previous experiences with a man who abused me, I was once again disappointed with someone I trust so much.”


“When it turned out that Michel wanted to continue with that other woman and not with me, and not with our family, the humiliation was complete. I turned into rage and did everything I could to make it as difficult as possible for Michelle. And let’s be honest: the pain since then continues.” I don’t rule out doing everything I did after that again. Only: I won’t involve our children anymore. They were twelve and thirteen at the time. They loved their dad, even though he wasn’t there for them for a while. I know Michelle really wanted Retaining the role of his father. He really did his best for it, twisting every corner. But I was so hurt that I couldn’t give him the role of his father. So I would tell my children after every fight what a terrible father they had. What he did to us. I told them that they aren’t important to him either. Otherwise he wouldn’t leave us, would he? The kids went with this so much that they didn’t want to go to it anymore. I rewarded them by doing fun things with them. After a lot of tug of war, which went wrong for Michel, He gave up and disappeared from our lives.”

“Somehow I knew I couldn’t go that far. But I was bitter. So frustrated. And I really think my kids would have been better off without a father like Michelle. My outlook only changed when I found love again a few years ago. Nice guy, wise sensibility itself.” He grew up without a father and always missed it. “How do you not want to hear your dad’s story?” He would sometimes ask my kids when they came. The first time I was angry. What was he involved in? He held me calmly and understanding, but then he didn’t shut up. He advised My children: “Ask your father.” “Soon he will die and it will be too late for good.” I saw that this impressed my children. They have a very high. And when my son became a father, he decided he wanted to meet Michelle. When he told me, somewhat embarrassed, I saw My new love stared at me so hard.Instead of arguing with her, I said, ‘That makes sense, do it.’

“The trace of relief I saw in my son’s eyes was deeply felt. For the first time I realized that I had made a mistake. My goal was to take my former children. But with that I also deprived my children of their father and this is harmful. In the meantime, my son and daughter visited their father several times, who welcomed them with arms Open. And that’s good for my kids, that’s for sure. I find it hard, but I let my children notice it as little as possible. Because it’s not about me now. I’ve rebuilt my life, and I’m doing nothing with my ex anymore. But whether I like it or not, the Michel is their father and always will be. They had to dispense with him long enough. By the way, my kids say they don’t blame me. That being separated from their dad was their choice. That’s sweet, but I know better. Fortunately for them, there’s now a connection again. Better late than never. Never come. I don’t need to see Michelle anymore. But I won’t put anything in my children’s way.”

Lydia van der Wadeeditorial

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