Jocelyn: I knew right away that I wanted a family with her

“In my thirties, I walked into Sappho, a women’s cafe in Amsterdam. I was with two friends in a row, who often went with them. During a pub crawl, we took this cafe every now and then, especially for me. I usually found those visits were Funny and exciting, but nothing serious happened at all because we were often outside again an hour later.

Anyway, that night I saw Jeanette and it was as if there was a spotlight on her. She was beautiful, athletic and as far as I’m concerned she is different from most of the women I met there. I went to her and talked a little, after which I went back to the next bar with my friends. Once out they asked: “What is her name?” I just do not know! So I went back inside and yelled, “Just one thing: What’s your name?”

“Then, I ran into her a few times in the neighborhood, because we lived a few blocks from each other and got to know each other’s number. Eventually, it came from that first drink and after a few months we’d been living together for a while, we bought a house together.”

Involved father? Anonymous donor?

“I’ve always wanted to be a mother, and when everyone around me has 34-year-olds, I also start a conversation with Jennette. We’ve now lived among families in Amsterdam-Noord and I’ve been increasingly involved. That’s strong so far, but we’ve decided to make Some research.But how?I always thought we could ask for a brother or cousin as a donor, but that didn’t work because they both have a serious relationship.

What’s Next? What do we want? Involved father? Anonymous donor? If you choose such a Danish sperm bank, you can only choose hair color and eye color, we thought that was very brief. We didn’t want our kids to be away from us half the time, so we didn’t want the co-parenting scenario.”

“We went looking for a donor through various websites, a surreal experience. We once met a guy in a coffee shop, we found him via an internet call. We were still hoping for a match. He came and we immediately thought: ‘No’ and then we still had to Drinking beer, almost like a date you want to fall in love a little.

Of course you don’t get that in a sperm bank. But if we chose that option, I can’t imagine what it would be like. You might think that with every man you meet on the street: he might be the father of our children. I thought it was a really complicated task.”

a little too fanatical

“Meanwhile, I saw pregnant women walking all over the street and everyone around me seemed to have become a mother without difficulty. Of course it wasn’t like that, but that’s how I felt. At some point, we looked at each other and said, ‘How fanatical we are.’ Maybe a little too.”

How far do we go with this? Just when we said it was just fun for both of us, there was peace and space. Yet he is a benefactor father. It came our way through someone, and in no time was I pregnant.”

“Unfortunately, I felt nauseous for the whole nine months, so the dream of pregnancy turned out to be a little different in practice, but the daughter was nothing short of beautiful. Jeanette became pregnant for the next two years, and now we are a family of four. With the benefactor father, who The kids call him dad, things go very normally. He’s great and we’ve been really lucky with that.”

big search

“Our rainbow family seems like a massive enrichment. I rarely feel off the norm, unless a child asks how there can be mothers or if we have to fill out a standard form where two mothers are not an option. I think my girlfriend is a very nice mother, and we Exactly the sweetest family I imagined.

Motherhood has made me discover a new side of Jennette, another aspect of her personality, and I love it. I knew right away that I wanted to start a family with her, because I feel at home with her. I guess I wouldn’t have done it so quickly. But now she is right. It was a big search, for a donor and also with each other, but it was all worth it.”

Jocelyn wrote the novel Afternoon Bathers, based on a quest, and talks about it Afternoon Swimmers – Podcasts Other rainbow families about their personal quest and fulfillment of their desire to have children.

Wanted: Love Lessons

For the Love Lesson section of RTL Nieuws Lifestyle, we are looking for beautiful, fragile, funny, inspiring and honest love lessons. An insight, a moment of reflection. Preferably with a hand on your lap. Did you eventually turn out to be the one who dreads commitment? Should you never have immigrated for love or has the blended family turned into an illusion? Journalist Hanneke Mijnster would like to ask you all about it. You can say anonymous. Mail to: hanneke.mijnster@rtl.nl.

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