“I had no desire to have children,” Tek Damstra, 38, says on the podcast. Surprising parentsAn audio documentary that tells parents what it’s like to have a baby unexpectedly. Damstra’s daughter is now eight years old. He’s been in love with her since day one “but at the same time I want to be able to say out loud, if I’m being so honest, I wouldn’t really want to have a baby.” He explains that sometimes he longs for a life without children.
We often hear this raw honesty in podcasts. Personal research is often the start of a good audio story, and risky details naturally follow. Intimacy suits the mediator: we listen to therapy sessions, judgment in court, and argument at the kitchen table. Listeners enjoy personal stories; As a maker of that you want to give it a go, but if your kids show up in it, you also want to protect your family. How do you find this balance?
“I need the stories being played in our family for the podcast,” says Nynke de Jong, creator of I know someone, a well-heard podcast about fatherhood and “all the good and the ugly things that come with it”. Kids don’t want to eat anything, falls, “incubation typhoid”, depression, and the ravages of holiday. “They are my stories, so I can claim these anecdotes. But they are also their stories. The line between what is mine and what is children is thin. If they later told the psychiatrist that I shared too much, it went too far, but then I would know.”
If they later told the psychiatrist that I engaged too much, I would have gone too far.
Ninky de Jong maker I know someone
Jair Stein (48 years old) does podcasts and is the editor-in-chief of several audio documentaries at NTR. His wife Jennifer Peterson is also a radio producer. Together they made rushed, where Petersen (born in Sweden) compares the Dutch education system to the Swedish model. Listeners follow her personal search for where children receive a better education, in the Netherlands or in Sweden, and whether this is a reason to emigrate. “On the podcast you hear an argument between Jennifer and me. When Jennifer turned on her tape recorder during that fight, I thought you were crazy, this is so special. But I heard in the editorial: This fight has to get into it. The listener must hear that I panicked about moving to Sweden. Otherwise, he won’t understand what this research means to us.”
You will definitely face dilemmas if your family is the subject. Do you decide in advance what you will say and what you will not say? The four presenters of I know someone They haven’t discussed this with each other beforehand, de Young says. „Hanneke [Hendrix] Radio writer and game maker. We learned from her: If you want to tell a good story, you have to be weak. Something has to be at stake, otherwise it’s not right and people leak. People don’t find it interesting to show your own Punica Oasis, that’s not a reality.”
As Stein and Peterson say, they do not apply censorship. We know it has to be real. If you don’t want to tell something, you have to take another main character.”
It is important to De Jong that her children and husband are able to live their lives. “I don’t want people to think: I already know you and I know your life because I listen to your mother’s podcast. My husband has colleagues who listen. I once said he paid for a bouquet of flowers for our wedding anniversary from the joint account. I tease him about it. It’s funny, but if you like Talking about bigger things in our relationship, I’ll bring it up to him.” Not a single topic was discussed with the mic on: “Sex. Hanneke’s husband is a GP and my husband is in charge of the class. I don’t want 19-year-old college students laughing and Hanneke doesn’t want patients to have that kind of information about their GP. We’ve put that limit for ourselves.”
Damstra did not set any limits in this regard, after which he did not regret his words. in Surprising parents He says, “In a group of friends you always have someone who doesn’t pay attention and holds someone. Now I was.” Would his daughter get hurt if she heard this? “My daughter knows she’s not a planner. I’m not shy about it. I think it’s important that we talk about uncomfortable topics together. I grew up Christian and then some topics weren’t discussed. I developed an allergy to it. I prefer being open to things that explode. Under the skin “. This was also a reason for him to participate in the podcast. When he himself unexpectedly became a father, he missed the stories of others in a similar situation. “Hearing about this from other parents has given me a sense of relief. It helps to know that you are not the only one who has had this happen and it is important to hear how others are coping.”
Stein says there are limits to what a listener can handle. He noticed this when accompanying DOCS audio documentaries (from NTR/VPRO). “If someone goes too far, if the story is very autobiographical and doesn’t go beyond specific, it becomes showy. The listener feels like a voyeur. Sometimes something is so painful, so close that it doesn’t feel comfortable. I personally had that in the scene. ‘s opening tangled, where presenter Martin Dalanga tells his parents that he is contemplating suicide. This isn’t a conversation I want to bring in.” He says that’s the limit that content creators should be watching, especially when it comes to your kids.
Stein does not regret the things he said about his children or those said to his daughters. Although there may be parts that are hard for his daughters to listen to, he says. in SecondIn a podcast they created with journalist Lynne Berger about middle family dynamics (two parents and two kids), Stein and Peterson talk about how jealous their eldest daughter is about the arrival of their second child. Stein: “She bit her younger sister in the finger and once pulled her from her chest.” Peterson on the podcast: “Very obviously, she wishes nothing for her sister. We feel that jealousy has created a gap that is hard to close.” Stein now says his daughter won’t like hearing that, “because the relationship has changed, the jealousy is a lot less, and they can play with each other for hours. All we can do is hope there’s another podcast showing how sweet and fun she is. It’s a snapshot, our picture of her isn’t fixed in time.”
De Jong is also not afraid of her children’s reaction. “I can always explain why I said something. Our podcast is about parents and parenting, that’s the perspective.” De Jong finds podcasting as a medium, without images and without hashtags, is safer and less burdensome to the child than other media. “If your parents are vloggers or influencers, I think that’s more difficult for the child. More obvious. Some parents post embarrassing pictures or videos of their children for liking. And there are mothers who use their children to make money. It doesn’t seem like wearing a different jacket on Instagram every A day is fun for the kid My podcast doesn’t affect my kids’ lives They don’t have to eat the vegan yogurt we send out I tell a big audience about my family but it’s about my life and how I deal with the upbringing If there’s a point my kids don’t like it, I’ll stop They are not my revenue model.”
Stein and Peterson gave their daughter an episode of. last summer rushed Let them listen. “Nice conversation followed. We explained that it was research we did for her. He also told us we didn’t cut the material to get ourselves out as well as possible.”
However, Stein would not recommend other makers to give their children a role on the podcast. If they later think: I want this to go away, it can’t be done, he says. “Maybe it’s a very big responsibility that I haven’t thought about much. If I record my kids again, I’ll let them hear it before I make it public. They are now eight and twelve years old, enough to make informed decisions for themselves.”