Elle: The three of us recently bought a house

“I first fell in love with Tom when I was a 14-year-old. Less than a month later, I felt the same anxiety for Adam, his best friend. Boys loved me and I said out loud that I was in love with both. It didn’t take long. More than a little kissing, and in the years since, I’ve shrugged off my double crush as a little joke from my childhood. It probably won’t happen again. But it happened again when I was 17. I had a great relationship and fell in love with someone one last time. other.

This boy broke up with me when I confessed. I felt so weird and weird that I didn’t dare fall in love for a long time. I stopped allowing myself the feelings of others.”

“Until I fell madly in love with James. This handsome blond guy was in the same sorority and stole my heart. Turns out James is all I need. My best friend, my boyfriend, my romantic love. For the first time in years I dared again to feel and enjoy my feelings.”

And again it happened. I fell in love with someone else again. To the Henry I knew from football. He laughed when I admitted it to James. There was no anger or jealousy. In my love with James, there seemed to be room to pursue that sentiment as well.”

Multiple love relationships side by side

“Henry is a little older than me and has more experience. He has taught me polygamy, the plurality of love affairs next to each other, and everything is honest and open to all.

I’ve been with James and Henry for a few years now. James and I got married, for administrative reasons, and Henry sat at the front of the ceremony. If I could marry both, but unfortunately Dutch law does not allow this. My family, friends and colleagues know this.”

“The three of us recently bought a house. Everyone has their own room, their bed, their own space. We have strict rules about that too. The rest we share with the three of us, both chores and costs. We all have three different salaries, so we split the fixed costs proportionately, everyone has their own room.” Tags and share the agenda to keep track of who’s where.

They are both spontaneously cute guys and they both share different hobbies. They also look somewhat similar, I obviously have a certain taste. We go to festivals together and weekends away as a couple. When we go out with a group of friends, the two guys go with us, but the three of us on vacation haven’t really done that yet.”

Give the other person

“The great thing about Polly is that you don’t have to get everything from one person. Everyone gets tired sometimes, everyone does things with their partners that they don’t actually like. I can outsource these things, as it were. I have someone who likes to go to concerts. With him and someone who really loves games so I can share all my hobbies with both.

James is more of an emotional person and can listen very well, while Henry is very practical. James doesn’t like cooking so Henry does, Henry doesn’t like folding laundry so I do that, I don’t like sweeping the way James does. In this way we all complement each other. We give each other our individuality.”

Do not believe libido or swingers

“James is also with Melissa, Henry is also with Sunny and I’m with my man and I’ve never felt loved. It’s great to see how James and Henry interact with their other partners and how well my men get along with being friends. It feels like a kind of close friend group where everyone cares each other ripplesor my partners partners, dare to call friends.

“People have always thought we should have massive libido or be bitches, but it just doesn’t work that way. It’s like monogamous bis side by side, and we’re both dear alike. In fact, I think trust within our relationships is better than It is in many monogamous relationships.Jealousy and fear of replacement always lurks.So good communication and enough emphasis on the uniqueness of the relationship is very important.We found our way there by discovering the source of jealousy.It is often unenviable that someone has something not possess it, but fear or insecurity that must be expressed.”

A new infatuation is not ruled out

“In practice, it is sometimes very difficult to keep a schedule and find space in it for all the different parties together. We’re not looking for new love either. We are all polysaturation As it is called, our current construction is sufficient.

But it cannot be ruled out that one of us will fall in love again. When that happens, we just have to sit back and set the rules and expectations. But one thing is for sure: I will grow old with these two things.”

The names Elle, James and Henry are fictitious. Their real names are known to the editors.

Wanted: Love Lessons

For the Love Lesson section of RTL Nieuws Lifestyle, we are looking for beautiful, fragile, funny, inspiring and honest love lessons. An insight, a moment of reflection. Preferably with a hand on your lap. Did you eventually turn out to be the one who dreads commitment? Should you have never immigrated for love or has the blended family turned into an illusion? Journalist Hanneke Mijnster would like to ask you all about it. You can say anonymous. Mail to: hanneke.mijnster@rtl.nl.

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