“It is not possible to control the birth of a previous birth that does not guarantee a third”

I can still remember handing the birth plan to the midwife when I was pregnant with Louis. It has become half a book, meticulously prepared down to the smallest detail. I didn’t know, I thought I had to. I can imagine the midwife then thought: Oh, it’s a first. How cute. Seven-sided birth plan.

Lewis’ birth went unhindered, it was definitely the birth of the book. In fact, by chance, it all went exactly according to my birth plan. When the midwife came, I was already six centimeters dilated (although I thought he was still having contractions) and there was a place in the hospital where I wanted to give birth on an outpatient basis. We got there around 11pm and at 3am Louis was born. I was fit and happy, had no issues with my body and soon we were allowed to go home. The only thing I thought about then – well, that might be different next time, was the construction light that was put on my box when the contractions started. Although it may be necessary, I described it a little more romantic in my birth plan.

With Miles – in Curaçao – things were different. I didn’t have a birth plan. First, because they don’t care at all about that in Curaçao (it comes as it comes, let it go, you can’t control everything) and secondly: I gave birth before. It will be fine.

From the first moment I felt like the contractions were starting and I took my time to shower, change and pack a few things at the last minute. Just when it was really unbearable, we traveled to the maternity clinic in Rio Canario, where the people were very nice, engaged and very professional, but the building itself was…well. I’ve already been there once and it wasn’t very new (a euphemism for the horn), but that didn’t bother me. I already knew I was perfectly capable of having a baby and the environment wouldn’t matter.

That was the theory.

But we arrived, I was allowed to lie on a bed as you know them here from the doctor’s or midwife’s office and my ex-boyfriend sat on a wooden chair. Wires were hanging from the ceiling and the air conditioning was rattling hard at the freezing point. I remember thinking, It doesn’t matter! I can do it! I’m a little tricky, but I can do it just fine. Unfortunately, my body thought otherwise and the contractions disappeared like snow in the sun. A very nice nurse was patiently hitting my legs while I was laughing at all the wires hanging from the ceiling and the green tiles on the wall.

After a while, I said, “It won’t work.” “We will go home.”

But I was already seven centimeters dilated so I had to stay. Looking back, I think Miles would have been born hours earlier had it not been for this “breaking” of my bubbles. At home, the contractions were strong and only got stronger, but your body warns you when you do no longer safe be. That’s just nature, my contractions stopped because I probably didn’t feel out of place. We are and are still mammals.

In the end, Miles’ action lasted longer than Lewis’s, but as I had a stress phase that lasted over an hour with Lewis, Miles fired within six minutes. Also a great birth, no need to worry.

Where Louis was weighed, measured, and dressed next to my bed, Miles did so in a separate room. Unfortunately I wasn’t there and that was a shame. The building light was absent this time because the entire delivery room was lit by a beautiful fluorescent light and I didn’t experience the “golden hour” with Miles, because they thought it was so important that they wash me. He lied to me and sucked right away, but that was it. Then it was: Go ahead, get baby’s clothes on, and I get a wet washcloth chilled with antiseptic between my legs. What a party. Perhaps a minimal birth plan would have been helpful after all. Especially since Miles was taken to nursery school and me to the “break room”. I still remember talking to a nurse.

‘Madam? Eh… Where’s my baby?

‘In the nursery. Sleep well.’

Bring it here like a sodemeter! (I believed).

“Oh, I’d rather have him with me. Can he come here?”

Well he came here. In his bed with rusty wheels, he squeaks loudly through the corridors of the maternity clinic. Anyway, my baby was with me, although he may have been having a bit of a headache now.

This week we will discuss the upcoming birth with the midwife. I read some tips.

Situation – maybe like a sack of potatoes on my side, just like last time. Can’t get any movement.

Then hung. What do I really want to discuss? I decided to take my previous experience with me, and – with Nils – made a draft with the most important points for us:

  1. We’ll see how it goes (actually include everything).
  2. Preferably an outpatient clinic in Rijnstate Arnhem.
  3. Good dim light (no building light please).
  4. The golden hour is important to us, please breastfeed immediately.
  5. Skin-to-skin contact with me and Nils.
  6. Dress yourself if you can.

I think we’ll be fine with that, maybe we’ll come up with something later. Childbirth goes the way it does, and you have no effect on that in the end. I find the most relaxing in it Let it take its coursethe delivery cannot be routed and the two previous deliveries do not make any guarantees whatsoever for this third time.

I am curious about your stories. Did your birth go according to your birth plan? May I know!

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