“Parents-in-laws have a different upbringing, they discussed?”

Do you have an urgent problem and want to hear someone else’s opinion? subway He shares a reader’s dilemma every week. This week: Irwin (37), who loves that his relatives often look after the children, but is disappointed that they have a different parenting style.

“Let me say first: I have the sweetest in-laws in the world. They welcomed me with open arms when I started dating Claire thirteen years ago. So called: My mother-in-law would cook me three meals a week that she would freeze. Ha, I thought I should eat healthy—as a student Poor I was subsisting on pasta and frozen pizza and meals in the microwave at the time My love for good food started because of her Claire and I moved in together, got married and had two children, 5-year-old Ayoub and 3-year-old Issa. The classic picture, you might say.

Dilemma: Raising children is different

My in-laws were over the moon when they became grandparents. They adore their grandchildren, do fun things with them and regularly spoil them with gifts. Sometimes it’s quite a lot, but Claire is the only child, so Job and Isa are the only grandchildren they have. This naturally makes them want to see them as much as possible. I think that’s good. In fact, I’m easier on it. They also take care of children twice a week. It’s an incredible luxury, if you ask me. Not only if you look at the costs involved in childcare – it saves thousands of euros per month. But the fact that my children can always come to them, also at other times, is very nice. For example, take extra care during lockdowns and Claire and I can continue to work from home undisturbed.

no boxes

Yet it nibbles somewhere. Not the fact that my husband’s parents are a babysitter, but the way that. Because they spend a lot of time with Job and Jesus, they automatically contribute to their upbringing. And this is where the shoe sometimes gets pinched. Example? Claire and I think it’s important not to put our kids in the “box” of genre. Pink for girls and blue for boys? Nonsense, Job could also wear a pink jacket if he liked it. And if Issa would rather play with cars than with dolls, I’d be fine. But I only hear it when they’re spending a day with my in-laws. Then Job suddenly shouted at Issa that she should get away from his cars, because “this is not for girls.” He recently told himself that his grandmother did not allow him to play football with the Isa Frozen ball, because it was not boyish enough. Or Issa comes home in a new bright pink dress. Not only does the hair not look pretty, but there are also other colors other than just pink. Another fact is that they get more sweets at grandparents’ homes than at home, which I also like to limit.


I should add: It’s not that this happens very often on a daily basis. But if it does, it will annoy me. Not only me, by the way, Claire has that too. She just does not dare to bring it up with her parents. We have words about that, too. Actually, I think she should say something about it, they are her parents. But Claire doesn’t want to make them insecure or overly critical. “Let them be grandparents, and we will teach our children education.” She doesn’t want me to say anything about her either – she’s afraid that her parents are upset and don’t want to babysit anymore, though I can’t imagine the latter. Should I bite my tongue and keep the sweet peace? They’re great people, but it’s about my boys. Plus, I’m afraid that if I let it simmer for too long, I’d end up smelling an unpleasant comment. In short: I can use some tips to solve this dilemma.”

last week

Last week’s gifts subwayReader tip for Lize, unhappy with her cleaning lady’s job and unsure if she should speak up. For example, Rieneke wrote: “Just talk about it, and maybe also ask about her condition. Who knows, she might be sick or worry about someone around her, so she’s not there with her (cleaning).” Arta thinks: “You pay her for the work. If it does not work out well, discuss and explain what is expected. Still not good, find someone else.” Eric thinks differently about this: “If you say something about it, there’s a chance it will stop after a few weeks.”

Want to read more tips from our readers? Check out our Facebook post:

What do you think: say something about it or don’t make a fuss and shut your mouth?

Written by Metro Holland on Thursday, August 25, 2022

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The dilemma: “My relatives raise our children differently than we do, should I hold them accountable?”

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