Avoid making mistakes? “You recognize him by appearance.”

Another failed date? Stranded relationship? Or the flop in the free run? Finding love isn’t always easy, but did you know that we regularly fall in love with the wrong person? But relationship expert Monica Wardenaar states that you can identify your ideal partner at a glance, by appearance and behavior.

Wardenaar Books the Book You really fit me, in which she describes her approach flawlessly. Because according to a relationship expert, personality, appearance, and behavior are closely related. This means that you can see from the outside if someone is right for you.

Identify the ideal partner based on two types

We’ll explain exactly how that works, but first we asked the relationship expert how she discovered this secret love formula. Wardenaar, who also conducted analyzes of relationships on pairs A farmer looking for a wife She manages to pre-identify candidates they don’t match, and explains that she’s had some issues with her own relationship. We have struggled with a number of issues. We already tried different things, but didn’t understand why we were fighting. Then we found out that we’re the same type.”

According to a relationship expert, every person has two types that go well together. “This gives the best chance for a long-term relationship.” This is a person of the same type as you, and therefore has many common or opposite characteristics, a person who complements you. According to Wardenaar, you can experience the well-known “click” with these two types.

opposites attract

But the relationship expert assures that according to her theory, you can see at a glance what type of person a person is and whether you are a good fit. You will discover how to derive basic personality traits from appearance. “If you master this skill, you can avoid going to the wrong skill.”

Types of relationship The appearance of the ideal partner
In this enneagram you can see which species are opposites and therefore attract. Photo: Monica Wardinar

Wardenaar speaks of thirteen species. “Seven classic combinations and six classic combinations.” Species are indicated by planets. In the picture you can see which examples are there of opposites attracting. They are Venus, Mars, Moon, Saturn, Jupiter and Mercury.

make a mistake

So why do we often fall in love with the wrong person? According to Wardenaar, we start thinking about what we find attractive and what we don’t find since the age of eight. She cites a theory from well-known sexologist John Mooney. This theory claims that we base our ideal species on environmental factors that we are familiar with. “Your mother’s eyes, your brother’s humor, your father’s height. We use this to create an image of our ideal partner. We consider that our type, but that doesn’t mean that type fits your personality better. That’s why you fall in love with the wrong person.” According to a relationship expert, this includes acquired preferences.

But you can prevent that, according to Wardenaar. “First, you have to be aware of your gender and know what kind of person the potential partner is. Only then should you see if you find someone attractive.” According to a relationship expert, we steadfastly cling to the “type” we have on our minds. “That’s why we exclude others.” Wardenaar emphasizes that it’s a different way of looking. “This way you fish in a small pond and increase your chances of finding love.”

Find the perfect relationship in three steps

Step 1.

What do you want in a relationship? What do you expect from a partner and what is important to you? “Also think about the types you’ve been attracted to so far and figure out why these relationships haven’t worked out.”

Step 2.

Find out what type you are for yourself. “You can do this by looking at your appearance, behavior, and personality traits.”

Step 3.

If you know which type you are, it will also be clear which two types suit you best. Then ask yourself what to look for in a partner. For example, do you want peace or adventure? Because a relationship with your maximum attraction, or vice versa (Moon – Saturn), is a different kind of relationship than a relationship of the same type as you (Moon – Moon).


Below you can read about the different types that are available. If you want a detailed explanation of the external and behavioral characteristics, you can take a look at the Wardenaar website. There you will find all types explained in detail with pictures. By the way, it is also possible that it is a mixture of two types. So you are, for example, the moon of Venus. “Then you have the outward appearances and characteristics of the Moon and Venus.” You may find your ideal partner this way.

1. Moon

The water is still flowing deep.
A slim body and an introverted look
– gentle and calm

Sylvia Hawkes Relationship, Polar Type, Appearance Type
Sylvia Hawkes is a kind of moon Photo: Agence France-Presse / Tiziana Fabic

2. flower

– “I love people and enjoy physical contact”
– Pear shape and soft look
– Easily take care and contact

Relationships types of France Bauer the ideal partner
France Bauer is a type of Venus Photo: ANP/Paul Bergen

3. Mercury

– “The charming and bright centerpiece, always in search of the spotlight”
– Small, sporty and bright emoji look
– Charming and cheerful

Relationships Types of Ideal Partner Baby Bregman
Baby brigman mercury Photo: ANP

4. Saturn

“Life is too serious to just enjoy it”
– Tall and thin, with a serious look
– Wise and confident attitude

Ideal Partner Relationships Edwin van der Sar Types
Edwin van der Sar is a type of Saturn Photo: ANP

5. Mars

“Life is a battle, it is important to win”
Compact and muscular body, strong energetic appearance
Passionate and adventurous

Wesley Schneider Relationship Types Opposite Type
Wesley Schneider Photo: ANP / Robin van Lonkhuijsen

6. Jupiter

– “Creating harmony and communication between people makes me happy”
– Apple shape and warm and friendly look
– Have fun and patience

Ideal Partner Relationships Types Guus Meeuwis
Guus Meeuwis is a type of Jupiter Photo: ANP

7. The sun

– “I love the world of fairy tales with unlimited possibilities”
– Small appearance, graceful and expressive
– Charismatic and funny

Wibi Soerjadi Relationship Types Ideal Partner
Wibi Soerjadi is a kind of sun Photo: ANP

We have prepared our judgment for cheaters, but why would a man commit adultery?

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