“It turns out we have completely different expectations.”


Photo: Unsplash

It seemed like such a wonderful plan, to go on vacation with friends, but the execution was disappointing. Here’s what you’re thinking next: Why was this such a good idea?

Mirza, 42, is married to Adu, the mother of Liam, 8, and Simha, 5.

“Looking back, I don’t remember exactly why I liked this plan so much. But somewhere in the winter, during a pleasant evening with wine and good conversation, Edo exclaimed: Why don’t we go on vacation together this summer?”

on vacation together

Our friends Michel and Daniel agreed right away. And I think it was fun, too. We’ve known each other for three years now, always had a good time and our kids were the same age and had a good flick with each other. I thought it would be nice if they could play together, especially since Liam and Simcha are not easy kids to make friends at camping. It would be great for them to play with two famous children.

“Wonderful, I think we have the same expectations.”

“But we don’t go together in the same house,” I immediately said that evening. I also love my privacy and don’t feel like being around other people all day. Fortunately, Michelle and Daniel said they also wanted a place for themselves. Great, I thought, we have the same expectations.

Read also – “I immediately ended our friendship” >

Other expectations

Disappointed for a while. Once we arrived at the French camp site where we booked a separate chalet for the two families, it turned out that they intended to spend the entire two weeks together. Michel made a fuss at the reception because our houses were not right next door to each other, although he mentioned this when booking.

“He made a fuss at the reception because our houses were not next to each other”

I shout to Eddo in despair. How do you transfer it? This was not a requirement for me at all. In fact, I was fine with a ten minute walk in between. But actually I should have known then. Because during our two-day foreign trip, we constantly received messages: We stop there and there, see you soon! When I looked back that we weren’t ready yet for lunch, we had enough fuel, and so we drove for a while, there was a furious reaction.

In short: It turns out that we have very different expectations for the holiday. While they were looking forward to us doing everything together, sometimes we liked to go out or eat alone with our family. And as Michelle and Daniel report to our house at ten in the morning—“Let’s have a cup of coffee, you know”—their constant presence drives me crazy. Because they never left. Or so, but they left the kids with us.

freedom

Three days later, I was already exhausted and was very sorry. “That won’t work,” Ido concluded, and we started the conversation. We found it very comfortable, but we also needed a little more privacy. That we like doing things together, but not all day. Sometimes we wanted to eat out in the evening and didn’t want to eat pasta or rice from Daniel and Michel every day. While they found: Why eat out when you eat so much cheaper at home? And that’s good, the joy of freedom. But also for us.

“This freedom did not exist, because if we wanted to leave, they were constantly stinging”

Only that freedom was not there, because when we wanted to leave, their reaction was always prickly. “Oh, do you want to get rid of us?” Then I asked Danielle. I acted like it was a joke, but I couldn’t help it.

Underwater sticking

The conversation turned into a quarrel. We did not try to convey anything to them. Daniel and Michel only felt insulted and rejected. Then we didn’t see them for two whole days – which was great, but the kids didn’t understand – and then came an app: “Is that what you want?” “No,” I returned, “but you know what I mean.”

This was followed by another conversation and we eventually found a way to sit down every two weeks. A situation where I get stung underwater all the time and sting my tongue just for peace. At least the kids were having a great time, I told myself.

the border

Two weeks later, we went home as fast as we could. Our friendship never got better, we’ve seen Danielle and Michelle four times over the past year, on kids’ birthdays. We no longer set dates and that’s okay. Because people who don’t respect my boundaries and don’t listen to what I have to say but want to define things for themselves, I can miss as a friend. This year the four of us are going to a nice camping site. Enjoy each other and no one else. I can not wait.”

This article was featured at Kek Mama Summer Special 2022.

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