Richard never wants a girlfriend again: ‘It’s very hard to find true love’

“It is very difficult, if not impossible, to find a girlfriend. I think sometimes people think of it easily. Sometimes I hear break words like, ‘There is a lid for every pot.’ Or that I would find a partner if I didn’t go looking for my consciousness. But that It didn’t happen, I’ve often had periods where I wasn’t actively looking or dating. I’ve now reached a point where I never want more of a relationship, although I wonder if it makes me really happy.”

“I started dating around the age of 20, many girls were already taken from my studies and in the bar I found it difficult to address women, so I did it through the first dating sites that came up at the time. I had no expectations or an image in my head that I I necessarily wanted a house, a tree, or a famous animal when I was thirty, but it seemed to me it was good to have fun with someone.”

to get to know

“I once had a long ten year relationship. It really got worse between us in recent years. I stayed with her longer because I always thought there was more of her. But we didn’t get along. My ex bothered me, in her eyes I couldn’t do anything right.” Seven years ago we separated permanently and since then I have not had a long and serious relationship. ”

“Now I’ve used all the apps and sites that can be found. I’ve also been to dating events. And why it’s not working: I have no idea. But if someone actually responds to my matches or message, that means I’m asking if I get an answer, because I Often times I don’t hear anything anymore, and in those rare cases where someone sends a reply, it’s just a matter of waiting to see if the connection remains interesting.

But even if the connection is fun, with humor, interest, and depth, it can suddenly break. It regularly happens that radio silence follows. Even if it all worked out and it came to a date, many – if not all – women drop out. The rest is fun for one or two or maybe a third time. I myself have never cut off contact with a woman “just like that”, not even on an app or website. I can not do it. And if I did, I would say it frankly and explain why.”

crazy fetish

“Over the past few months I’ve had two dates with two women who initially loved me. But what I suspected was going on: they didn’t want to continue. So I was left alone again. Those rejections didn’t really bother me that much, because I’d seen it coming before. He used to Refusal to hurt me.You begin to doubt yourself: What’s wrong with me?Am I really that weird?I don’t have a crazy fetish that scares women.

I also don’t communicate with clubs. And if you find it, women love me, but that’s it. I also attended a one-on-one meeting. I got a lot of feedback at first, but eventually I was left alone again. I think I’ve already tried everything. But always without result.

“It’s human to want to belong to someone. I also need security, intimacy, poor talk, but also deeper conversations. And you don’t find all that with your friends. In my environment, almost everyone is settled. They are married and have a family. That’s why Sometimes I feel lonely. Fortunately, in Holland you can easily go to the pleasure ladies.”

pure lust

I’m obviously not very good at seduction, and with these women I don’t need to. They don’t reject me and I don’t have to worry about me not being nice enough. It is then just about lust and feeling someone against you. But this isn’t love, I know that. The emotional connection I’m looking for is missing. Plus it costs a fortune.”

“The problem is that women love me, but no more than that. They see me as a kind of brother. In fact, they never say what they think about me directly, probably because they don’t want to hurt me. But anyway it’s a refusal, it’s inevitable” I like you, but…”.

If I come across a nice woman and I dare talk to her, it stops. She’s busy with other things, or she doesn’t care about me. In any case, I must always take the lead, and a woman on the street has never approached me. When that happens, he’s a collector.”

meaningless picture

“Maybe I haven’t been out of a relationship, apparently not for a late one either. I’ve gotten to the point where I don’t want a girlfriend anymore. Or at least I’m: I don’t want to put in the effort anymore or take the initiative because no matter what I do, the The result remains the same.

This decision comes from self-protection, I don’t want to be rejected again. I also hate the meat check of dating. Especially on Tinder. This scroll is when someone likes you, while the picture says nothing. For now, I’ll be on my own, and I don’t think that’s going to change.”

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It will never happen again?

Do you also want to tell your story and tell us what you “never want” to try, do or not do? We are curious about your story. Email us at weekendmagazine@rtl.nl

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