If showering three times a week is an example of luxury, it’s time to invest in self-care, says Brenda. Will it be the mother’s retreat or the mother’s mindfulness? Anyway, there are a lot of options.
While half of my twins (only 4) are admiring from the climbing frame and the other half wanting to show a roll on the trampoline, an older than me (6) fell next to me on the bench on the court, frowning. If we can go to a big boy playground, it’s boring. The playground he is referring to is on the other side of the village.
The power must have come from my toes, which could use a lick of fresh nail polish now that I’ve looked at it. I actually notice that I look like a faded flower at all. Behind me are the worst of the tropical years, but I still barely made it to myself. After the summer holidays, my entire trio will go to school, but I can’t wait that long: the battery desperately needs a recharge. But yes: when? and how? Life goes on, with me in last place.
For my well-being, I consciously continued to work when I became a mother. The combination of writing and parenting tasks suits me well. He’s busy, that’s for sure. So busy in fact that I can hardly refuel. I might feel like a soy cappuccino on my computer is a hard-earned time, but work of course doesn’t mean relaxation.
“Often I just notice how much I need to relax in a steaming herbal bath”
My favorite body pumping class also seems to be a gift to myself every week. But: is this really it? Is this the greatest thing that can be achieved in the life of a mother of three? A day in the sauna on my own still worked intermittently. How much I need to relax In fact, I often only notice when I happily lower my buttocks in a herbal steam bath. Tears usually catch my eye right away, but I push them because crying naked around a group of strangers feels a little uncomfortable.
Like many other moms, my own self-care is downright sad. If I can shower three times a week, my self-care counter turns bright green. Things are not getting better. I often work through some mail in the evening, as well as two baskets of clothes. Then, hanging on my tired husband, I stare at Netflix for another half hour and get back to bed in time. I’m always intent on getting up early for a healthy, calm breakfast, but end up squeezing a banana at the height of the morning rush hour.
“In 2022 you are no longer a decadent mother when you think of yourself”
In short: My self-care needs an update. It’s time to really invest in it, I decide. And it’s possible in 2022, because you’re no longer a decadent mom when you think of yourself. You can safely go without children, short or tall. Fortunately, ignoring yourself one hundred percent for the sake of your offspring is less and less than usual. As with this oxygen mask on the plane: Take good care of yourself first, so that you can take good care of your children.
This is probably the reason why you are flooded with ads for momretreats, momcoaches, moms pampering days and mommy workshops, all over social media. Google has also been able to produce a list in a second that a devastating Mother of the Day (me) can move forward.
My gaze lingers at my mothers retreat, on the weekends. It seems achievable. Spending a few days on the beaches of Zeeland with other mothers who come to reconnect with themselves: it’s very tempting.
One day in a wooded area, I also noticed inhaling essential oils, smearing paint on canvas, and letting your emotions run free while hiking. Not a good thing, but maybe that’s why it’s so good. Like a kind of therapy where you find self-love by getting out of your comfort zone. Or: “This Mother’s Day in Friesland is a day not to worry, but to take care of!” I see pictures of women holding sunny drinks, sprawled out in pastel-colored hammocks, and staring at vast meadows full of cows (which you can also cuddle with afterward; it seems to be good for you).
All of my maternity outings sound like the best self-care remedy, yet I feel a subtle knot growing in my stomach. It could also be because of his girlfriend Issa (40), Arnie’s mother (2) and Bass (5).
waist of time
She also longs for time for herself and has found a suitable sanctuary. “A day of silence, orchestrated by a coach and a doctor, seemed like something to me.
The location was charming and included a great lunch. “But during the preliminary round, things really went wrong in terms of self-care and silence. It was supposed to take fifteen minutes, but it turned out to be an hour and a half of pause.” The yoga session after that was so short that Issa didn’t have time to get out of the downward-facing dog. “The exercise we then had with the coach made me vomit. I’m a psychiatrist myself and just thought: I’m going to do this completely differently, that’s just out of a book: simple, childish, exaggerated. I felt nothing but tension.”
After a good lunch, the mothers went out with a friend to the swamp. “We had to tell each other about ourselves or something else for twenty minutes, without allowing the other to respond. I had no idea what to do with this; I thought it was pointless and a waste of my time. Back on set, we had to share what we learned from the day I was so done with it that I left the house with an excuse for the kids. A waste of my time and money.”
Become a happy person
It’s exactly what pisses me off a little bit. So people earn good money from mothers by organizing such days. Give a tired mother a weekend filled with mother’s vegetable juice, mother’s meditation, mother’s walk, change mother’s appearance and kaboom: the transformation into a happy person has been a success.
If I have to believe the givers of these gifts to myself, after sharing, you are once again a vessel full of patience and compassion. You were born again as a mother and found yourself again. You know, the one with whom I was able to achieve a deep sleep at night and sleep all weekend. Personally, I would prefer to meet that conscious self again after fifteen years, if it really matches reality (read: when the kids leave the house).
“I don’t even want to think about going away for the weekend without the kids and then talking to other moms about parenting issues and…the kids”
With a slanted look at the prices of mother’s relaxation activities, I seem to be suspicious more seriously. It may cost nothing, that resurrection. For two days and one night stay, you will easily pay 550 euros. So this makes me very nervous. And if I’m being honest, I don’t even think about going away for the weekend without the kids and then talking to other moms about parenting issues and…the kids.
If you’ve just been sinking your teeth into a healthy smoked tofu sandwich, your neighbor will want some tips on how to keep her son’s annoying friend out of the door. Then, the other moms go further and get involved in the ultimate terrifying horror game. No, it wouldn’t be a mother’s haven for me, I guess.
Read also – “I went on vacation without a husband and child for a few days to make time for myself””>
Marilyn (40), Olivia’s mother (7), does better in my opinion. She goes to an organized wellness weekend every year. Some moms go together, some go alone. “I don’t consciously go out with a girlfriend, just to be alone for a while and not have to discuss anything with anyone,” Marilyn says. “Feeling free is a wonderful thing. Yoga classes are just fixed; other than that you can do whatever you want.”
She fills her days by sweating in the sauna, getting a massage, taking a nap, or reading. “It really feels like a zen bubble. There are often dinners together, but I’m usually alone. Once I’m talking to such a group, I quickly notice: This costs me energy, and I didn’t come here for that. Being alone is great!” I’m always charged when I come back.”
long term effect
It really seems to me that wellness is on your own for three whole days. It should be enough time to fill the entire bubble bath with my tears of pleasure and relaxation. However, I can’t help but think: When are you ever going to be near exhaustion again after something like this? Are you a few hundred euros lighter, have you just enjoyed the luxury of endless time, you can settle down on the supermarket floor next to your screaming toddler two weeks later.
In my research through all possibilities, I see that the creators of the various charging programs have also considered the long-term effects. For example, on most Momretreat treatments, you’ll receive tips for home, such as relaxation exercises or a short sleep exercise that equals – yes – four hours of sleep! But even better, as I read everywhere, is to come back regularly and reclaim a retreat, course, workshop, or relaxing day. With tener discount, because you are a regular customer.
Infinitely long sleep, meditate, eat organic concentrates, meditate and inspiring walks in silence: it benefits a lot to a mother when I read all the reviews. Go home with an empty head to keep all the balls in the air in peace; The expected result also seems to be worth every penny. However, I haven’t booked anything for this summer yet. Somehow, it sounds too good to be true.
“Somewhere it feels too good to be true”
For now, I promised myself a day of pampering at home. Shortly after summer vacation, the first day of school for twins. After taking them to school with their older brother, I took a long bath. With today’s energy prices, this is also a great investment. Then I put on a house suit and deal with Netflix in broad daylight only. Self-care at its best, if you ask me. I’m pretty sure I’ll run out of power for mommy dip by then, given the current state of my battery. # Self-care is not so simple.
This article can be found on Kek Mama 07-2022.
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