“Maternity care… I should have been more honest, I realize now”

I recently took up maternity care. I sat for a while, because I was curious how things were these days.

Our daughter will of course be my third child and dates my first experience with maternity care from 2011, that’s a while ago. Miles, my second son, was born in Curaçao and I never had maternity care there. Miles and I are still alive, so it went well too. However, I love him again. Such a real maternity week, including maternity nurse.

I remember that while Louis was pregnant, a lady from maternity care stood on the doorstep to eat. I don’t remember much about her, but I do remember her asking if we had a bucket and cleaning cloths at home. of that yellow. I must have been staring at her, wondering if she was serious, but she was. very serious. I received a complete list of cleaning tools and bags. I’ve never heard of half of them (and have never used them after that).

very tired

When Louis was born, a very nice maternity nurse came in. You did everything for us. She taught me the most important things, helped with breastfeeding, cleaned up, and made the cutest fruit snacks, but I still found it a little tricky somewhere. When she finished her work, she came to talk to me. for hours. Yes, we had a small, clean apartment, no other kids, no pets, and Louis was a good kid who did a perfect job. There wasn’t much to do so she came to sit with me in the bedroom. very tired. Meanwhile, Louis had to be in his bed, because that was the best place, she told me. I would have liked to hold it more and just look at it, admire it. But if I knew too much, it all happened to me. I should have been more honest, I realize now.

Back to basics

How different it was in Curaçao. There I had my mother-in-law, she took care of the food and we have – very decadently – a housekeeper. Lewis was a little kid and he enjoyed helping me out. From day one I did everything myself with Miles, it was no different and luckily I was fit enough. Of course you can buy maternity care, but that hasn’t been repaid and in fact that standard wasn’t there (as far as I know). Help the family, that’s the creed in Curaçao. It was a wonderful birthing period and I didn’t miss a thing. My ex had to go back to work with both Lewis and Miles after a day, so I was pretty much alone with both boys, but compared to Lewis’s motherhood, one thing shocked me: peace of mind. I could sit on the bed with Miles and stare at him, cuddle and cuddle with me. He didn’t have to lie in bed and no one came to tell me her life story. There is no book where I had to fill everything, no diapers with pee indicators, no feeding schedules, no constant interaction, no rules, no controls on myself, just my kids and I and I’m often back to basics. Golden, and very educational. I had to rely on myself.

Read also: “I waved them so they ran down the street, but then their tears”

an interview

So, I called Elle last week, she had the intake. First, she asked me – just to be sure – about the family’s situation. Because I filled out a bloody annoying form online that Louis was older than Nils (and I didn’t want to change it anymore). Very special, they must have thought. She subtly asked me what it was and seemed really relieved when I told her that my eldest son was no older than my friend.

Then I was asked extensively about my pregnancy, previous births, and my experiences with maternity care. During the narration, I noticed what I missed with Lewis and discovered it with Miles. I’ve said a hundred times: If all goes well, you know! I don’t want to get ahead of things, but…”

“Tell me what you want,” Eli said. We think it is very important that you point this out clearly. It’s motherhood time.

“Of course I am eight years older than last time and I can only hope that my birth goes as the boys did and that our daughter eats and sleeps too, but if you are so blessed, then…”

‘then …?’

“And Nells is there. I have a birth week with my partner for the first time. Realization hit like a bomb and made me instantly happy. It’s also new to me, a birth week with a partner. Oh, orgasm.”

a little rest please

“What do you like?”

I thought about it for a full three seconds, but I actually knew it already.

At last I said, ‘We like to rest,’ knowing that Niels thinks this is no less important than me. Calm and serenity to get the baby used to together, hold him and take a nap when he sleeps. We want to be able to admire it for hours if we feel like it and enjoy it with the boys. Let’s work it out with the five of us, we’ll be fine.

“That sounds totally fine to me,” Elle said. “Then the maternity nurse stays in the background and will be there if you need her.”

If all goes well, huh! For the same money, I’m totally in ruins. This is correct!’ I cried for the thousandth time.

“I’m sure he’ll be fine.”

This luxury.

At the end of the conversation he said to me, “I hardly dare to ask, because rest is very important to you, but … can an apprentice come with you?”

“Hiring interns is part of my job, so the answer is; yes. Interns are perfectly permitted.

Ellie wasn’t expecting that. Me too, but that’s fine and important.

Ellie and I ended the conversation in complete satisfaction. I’m really looking forward to maternity. It would be new to Niels, but also to me. With two older kids, a partner and a maternity nurse you’ll take care of the comfort this time around. bring it!

She is a special secondary education consultant, author at De Fontein Publishing and is the mother of two sons, ages 10 and 8, who has recently divorced and is expecting a daughter with her new boyfriend. So nothing boring about it. That’s why we’d like to introduce you to our new columnist: Elaine Rink.

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