Of course, she adores her daughters, but to keep her from going crazy, Yvonne (44) also loves to move into a vacation home on her own.
I had been in the car for over an hour and a half when I turned to the door of Weg het Dijkwater. At the top of the hill on this narrow country road, the view is so wonderfully wide that I slow down naturally. And that’s exactly where I feel like coming home, my shoulders drooping and the corners of my mouth twisting. In less than ten minutes I will be back to our lovely family home in Zeeland. Spacious enough for my whole family, but especially nice for a few days with myself and my Macbook.
Sometimes I need it, to be alone. And not an evening on the couch when my two daughters (9 and 11) are in bed and my shord husband is awake. I want to get away from home for a few nights to recharge. I don’t do it often, although I know that after three days I come back better.
This time I waited too long. After all the lockdowns, lessons in quarantine, kids at home with corona, followed by teachers who are sick and no alternative (the kids are home again), I know how many school days and holidays I don’t want to keep in the air anymore, but at the same time. For weeks I felt like my fuse was short and I was barking around the house more than I wanted to. I knock on doors, I can’t have much (read: nothing), I have a lot to do, but nothing gets out of my hands.
“I don’t want to keep balls in the air anymore, but throw them all to the ground at the same time”
I prioritize everything and everyone except me. The kind – and honest – neighbor notices that the sparkle is gone from my eyes. And when I sigh for the thousandth time because I’d rather go to Zeeland on my own, Schord makes the decision for me. He sees my struggle (and maybe he’s tired of my mood, too). “Pack your things and your keys and go, and I will adjust my agenda and arrange it with the children.” Apparently I need that kick in the ass. I throw some clothes in a bag, get good food and hug our girls. Bye, see you in a few days.
I’m not the only one who needs and needs this. My friend Anke (45) goes away for a night or two about three times a year: “You never get a place, you have to take it. Since I realize that, I sometimes book a nice hotel, preferably on the beach or in the woods. Sometimes With some work or a book, but I also try to leave without expectations.Then I can feel who I am and what I want.
“You’ll never get space, you have to take it”
On my own I can organize the flow of my thoughts, ideas and plans, make them smaller and get goals out of them. I look forward, and that gives me focus in the chaos of everyday life. I make sure to arrange everything in the house for the kids before they leave. However I still feel guilty. can i do this But I hold it off, because I really become a happier person when I’m alone with myself for a while.”
I realize this guilt and sometimes it stops me from going. Although I know very well that they can excuse me at home. In addition, I think the weather will improve now that this thundercloud has flown by. As soon as I opened the hut door, I realized I was right to leave.
The fact that it’s familiar territory may make all the difference. You don’t have to get used to it, I know where everything is and what to do in the area. I arrange my things and settle down on the balcony with a glass of wine and a book. All I hear is the rustle of palm leaves. No one calls me, wants to tell me more about the day or wants another kiss before the night begins.
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Sleeping is a thing though. In my life I’ve spent more nights with Shourd by my side than I’ve spent without him. I know it can take hours to fall asleep with irregular breathing. I take it for granted, with the potential for startups, lunch boxes, and kids’ conversations to rush out.
For Marlisse, 38, the nights are exactly why she’s afraid to go out alone: ”I can get a little anxious and get lost in it as soon as I’m in bed. When it gets dark, everything seems bigger than it is. I can’t always stop my thoughts. Often What my boyfriend just needs to say is something reassuring or hold my hand to calm me down. At home I have this ‘under control’ and that feels lovely. The funny thing is that I’m fine for being alone. When my boyfriend travels for work or goes out with friends, I sleep alone too. In the end it goes Well. But then I’ll be home. Another place seems like ‘next level’ to me, an extra challenge I’m not sure I would dare to take.”
Creativity and solutions
Because I left in a hurry, I have to work this time. Without the rhythm of school, sports and clubs, today seems like a long time. I’m really making progress, I can check more and more things off my list. In between, I put on my tracksuit for my regular run toward the water. While running I feel how to create a space for creativity, how solutions to some work concerns almost automatically pop up and ideas pop up in my head. I laugh, go back and write suggestions and quotes and take notes for new stories.
“When my house is full, I find it difficult to withdraw”
You realize this: “When you’re alone, you feel 24 hours much longer than you do at home. That means two nights are enough for me to recharge. When my house is full, I find it hard to pull out. In a nice hotel, I want to be alone more Basically, I go for a walk, drink coffee with a book, sit on a stone and stare in front of me. To visualize what will happen in those days I always take markers and a sketchbook with me. This could be a plan I feel I am working on in the near future or just some pictures” .
lighter by the hour
Two nights away from home seems like a week to me. I’ve accomplished more than I’ve done lately and the satisfaction that comes with it makes me feel lighter every hour. I also enjoy the silence, the endless views, and the fact that I once met three people (over 80) and that no one wanted anything from me. I walk on a deserted beach, my laptop in a backpack. There is no such thing as the sound of the sea. I’m peering over the waves and laughing at myself. I’m standing here, barefoot in the waves with my head toward the sun, enjoying a game.
After two nights away from home it feels like a week to me.
I notice that changing the environment not only fuels my productivity but also stimulates my creativity. As a freelancer, I don’t have a boss who expects me to be in an open office every morning at 9am. But what good is the freedom of independent work if you don’t take it? I just don’t always have to leave the house at night for that, I guess. As cute as it is, I can’t and don’t want to be away for half a week every month. Although… I intend to change premises often and compile a list of great cafes and terraces in the area.
At the beach bar, I open my laptop again and keep writing happily. That evening, I texted Monique (45), a friend who I know would like to go away on her own for a few nights. I excitedly tell you how much I love him, so Everything is on my own Ask her why she hasn’t left yet. “It doesn’t happen. Until I plan it, it won’t. But weeks fill up quickly and I can always think of reasons not to go. And besides: When I go away for a few days, I think it’s important to sit somewhere nice and not in a cheap hotel. Secret I found A house in the woods, but it is very expensive and I find it difficult to give this to myself as a gift.”
I realize how luxurious it is that my parents bought this house a few years ago. I think this is a very beautiful place. Not only because it is familiar, the silence and peace ensure that I return to myself.
Monique hopes for a last-minute show, she writes. “Although it also means that I don’t plan on it at home, I leave quite unexpectedly and leave my friend behind with the kids. And whether that can be arranged…I am looking forward to rest and being alone. I think it gives me space to think. By the way, this seems heavier than it is. I only want to be with myself and not with anyone else.”
Three days later, coming home again, I secretly wanted to stay a little longer. On the other hand, I also want to see my treasures again. Feel comfortable, elegant and charging. My head is empty and my fuse is longer. I can take it again, I feel like it. I intend to do this more often. Preferably protective and I don’t wait for the weather to be a red icon in my head.
This article was featured at Kek Mama Summer Special 2022.
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