Your nephews or sisters: If it’s not fun together | child and family

The solution is not to correct your brother or sister. The best thing you can do is tolerate your parenting style. “This doesn’t mean you have to agree to everything, especially if you’re experiencing harmful behavior. Start a conversation and say what’s bothering you. But avoid accusatory statements,” Brabers advises.

“Actually, make it negotiable, without getting into the painful vibe,” says Anita Lammiris, a baby and parenting coach. “The central question should be: How can we make it comfortable, knowing that you do things differently than we do?”

You obviously don’t talk about this problem in front of the kids, says Lammiris. Try to relax during meetings. Because if you are nervous and angry, this atmosphere will undoubtedly spread to the children, who will then argue. And if your child asks why he allows his nephew when he does not? Then tell them that some parents do it this way, and that you do it another way, Lameris advises.

Brabers also advises you to fully sympathize with your brother or sister-in-law and not to make judgments on the spot. Each child benefits from a particular parenting, especially if the child has ADHD or autism, for example: it requires a completely different parenting strategy. Also focus on what’s fun at family gatherings, rather than on the differences.

Sometimes the differences are so great that you can no longer empathize with your brother or sister’s parenting style, for example if religion plays a role, or if your nephew or niece shouts a lot.

“Then you shouldn’t go on vacation together,” Prabers says. “The greater the differences, the more you have to put up with. That’s why it’s important to think about how to maintain comfort. A joint vacation requires more than an afternoon. And if you go on vacation together if you want to, make sure that you and your family can also opt out. for a while “.