in on the stage Every two weeks let’s talk about motherhood with the influencer. This time we’re talking with Tess Muller, Milo’s mother (1).
- Tess Muller (30)
- Relationship status: Recently in love
- Children: Milo (1, 2 approx)
- Instagram: tessdewi
- Number of followers: 12000
You’re “Mama Fluencer”: How did that happen?
“I used to share my clothes on Instagram, but after a while I stopped. During my pregnancy, I wanted to keep some kind of diary, so why not be online? I first shared maternity clothes, and then also shared maternity stories later. It’s so nice to connect with other mums In fact, I have made quite a few friends.”
What do you hope to pass on to other women?
“A year ago Milo’s dad and I broke up. I’ve been very open and honest about it online. My followers are curious about the way I approach single motherhood and they find inspiration for me. I notice that a lot of people are stuck in a relationship and only stay together for the sake of the kids. What I want to convey is that sometimes there is nothing wrong with cutting that knot. Only for children. I encountered that taboo myself. As a child of divorced parents, I didn’t want to end up like this, because it also traumatized me in the past. As a result, I kept fighting for my relationship for a long time. Until it didn’t work anymore: it wasn’t safe for my baby and I was very unhappy.”
How did you go through the first period after the breakup?
“We lived with my parents for ten months, in a loft with a sofa bed. Before that I had a spacious house on the water, so I felt like thirty steps back. Unfortunately, this house belonged to my previous home and I had no leg to stand on. In the months The first I felt like a failure: what to do? But after a while I felt stronger and more powerful. I did all this on my own. Since I went through a deep valley, I have become more positive in life. “
Read also: Tess Muller gives a glimpse into her life as a single mother: ‘It’s better to suffer’
What makes single motherhood so difficult?
“When Milo gets sick, no one says ‘I’m going to get us something to eat, and I’ll take care of that. I have to make a lot of decisions on my own. Of course, sometimes I consult with my parents or with my friends, but you’d rather do it with a partner.’ I suddenly had to ‘Share’ ”Mylo with his father – I’ve always been a full-time mother – I found myself so intense. When I took him to his father, I cried in the car. This is the downside of the breakup. I was afraid the grief would never pass, and somehow you don’t get used to being without your child for a few days, But you learn to live with it. People always feel sorry: “Oh, how annoying it is to miss your child,” they say. But that’s exactly how you stand in it. There are also benefits. In the three days that Mylo hasn’t been around, I can do what I want, because I know he’s in good hands. And before I knew it, he’s back.”
You announced last week that you are in love. Tells!
“Dating took a lot to get used to. After downloading the Happn dating app, I panicked: guys saw me as some kind of reproductive machine. Do you want (more) kids?” they asked right away. I stopped after two days, but I exchanged numbers with one person. We kept in touch and are now in love with each other. Mylo saw him via FaceTime, but not in real life, I think that’s too early.”
What distinguishes you as a mother?
“I always listen to Mylo, a child of calm and order, and set him free. So I don’t feed him, but let him do things on his own. I don’t speak childish language and take it seriously. In that regard, I treat him like an adult. I already knew I was like a mother. I wanted to listen to my feelings – I am an emotional person. I did not find motherhood difficult. Yes, we also have difficult days, but in general everything is going very normally. “
Have you ever dealt with exposing my mom?
“Yes often. People like that I made my son known on Instagram. There are also mothers who say: “How selfish to give your child a broken home.” On the one hand, such a comment is painful, but at the same time I think: how short-sighted is that It could be. Of course I didn’t want it, but it’s the reality. That’s what it is. I don’t lose sleep over these reactions.”
Do you want to know what the life of a single mother is like? Tess takes you on the mini-series on Kek Mama TV for four weeks.
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