Press talk #104: “I no longer feel anything about sex”

Noun: Isabelle
age: 34 years
Where were you born: in the hospital
When: May 29, 2020
whose: daughter
how many children: second child
number of stitches: Much

Read also: Press Talk No. 103: “Suddenly nine people were in the delivery room”

How long did labour, including contractions, last?
I was called to the ambulance on Thursday, in the afternoon. Our daughter was born on a Friday evening around 9:30 pm. So it took some time. They broke my waters around noon and my contractions started right away.

How severe are your contractions?
‘very strong. I had a terrible cramp. Eventually I got the contraction inhibitors from the hospital. I’ve also had fairly fast contractions, although I haven’t expanded enough yet. Then they asked me if I wanted an epidural. I had it with my first pregnancy, but it didn’t help at all. In the end I thought: Yes, just do it. When I was fully acclimated to it, there was no place for anesthesia, so I got a morphine pump…well, it didn’t do that much.

What would you prefer to know before birth?
I wanted to know that if they cut a hair, it’s not just a small hair. They really make a great scattering, quickly reaching eight to 10 centimeters. Not nothing.’

What did you say during childbirth?
It really emitted pure primal sounds. Abnormal. I also screamed for a caesarean section. I really don’t want more.

When did you manage to shoot your partner?
I was very satisfied with my directions. My wishes were listened to as much as possible. And you also get very honest answers in return, rather than female-friendly answers just to put your mind at ease. In the end, the truth is more useful to you.

Who was standing next to you during the birth?
My husband is a gynecologist, assistant and pediatrician. So the delivery was very miserable. The child was very large. It was just a question of whether the head would fit, and then whether the shoulders would fit. Until the last minute, it was exciting to have an emergency caesarean section. I pressed forever. When they managed to reach him a little, they seized: they turned the child so that she could pass her shoulders. This left me with a lot of thigh pain.

What is the most useful element in your flight situation?
Clean clothes for myself and children’s clothes. During childbirth you often have to urinate, defecate and vomit, so you are very happy that you can wear dry clothes afterwards. And the fact that you can take off the clothes you wore during your birth and throw them away is very nice.

What did you yearn for after giving birth?
I was very hungry, during the contractions I was not allowed to eat anything. But after the delivery, there was no food available so I had to wait until the next morning. In the week after giving birth I ate a medium sized steak and a boiled egg. Tasty!’

Also read: Press talk #102: ‘I feel like I’ve been destroyed in there’

How was it after giving birth?
So they made a pretty big cut. I also gave birth to a 4kg baby at 38 weeks so it wasn’t all that crazy. I had a lot of pain in my hips because of it. After giving birth I had to stay in bed for two weeks from the hospital, which is very intense. I was only allowed to go out to the bathroom. The wound was very tight after a few days, and my pelvic floor muscles were still very weak. With my first delivery, I also had a second degree tear, so the fact that all the muscles were torn twice made it really flabby. I can’t wear tampons since, even my period cups I sneeze or cough. I don’t really feel anything about the sex, it just seems like a huge gap. I tried to start with a pelvic floor physical therapist, but that didn’t help. I bought myself Elvie, a type of indoor egg that records whether you’re tightening your pelvic floor muscles. Works with app and games. Unfortunately, miracles did not work. I also recently purchased an electric vibrator with pelvic floor training, so I am very curious if this thing can make my muscles strengthen again.

How long did your recovery take?
‘Years. I still haven’t fully recovered, and my daughter is now 2 years old. I still can’t stand it long. Then the hips hurt so much. And I don’t feel anything about sex.

How long did it take to have sex again?
That took two months. It went well, and it didn’t hurt. The downside: I didn’t feel it at all. I would regularly ask my partner if he was in it at all.

Once but not again or continue with the next?
Never again in my life. This is very painful. I was also advised not to get pregnant again from the hospital. So no.

Do you also want to share your birth story? Like us, click here to join Press Talk.

Leave a Comment