Has your relationship been in trouble for a long time and you doubt if it would be better if you parted ways? Then try the following things before giving up for good.
What do you do if you are about to end your relationship?
Breaking up your relationship is a choice you don’t make overnight. But what should you do when connectivity becomes an increasingly important task and you can’t be far from it? Perhaps the following things will help you reconnect if you’re not ready to give it up yet.
1. Think about your attractiveness
If the first feelings of love give way to love, the attraction gradually diminishes and the routine eventually begins, this does not necessarily mean that you are with the wrong person. What drew you to your first period when you were still crazy about your partner?
Also think about why you fell in love with your loved one at the time. If these are the qualities that you now find annoying in the other person, then your choice of partner was not what it should have been at the time.
Either way, if a trip down memory lane has a positive effect on you, you’re not ready to pull the plug on your relationship just yet. Have you come to the conclusion that you both want to do the work to light the flames? Then go for it.
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2. Be honest with each other
In a period when statements can hit you so hard and you already feel hurt, it’s not a good idea to tell each other the whole truth. But it may give you answers or insights that will help you determine if this relationship is still worth living. Keep in mind that you can’t read each other’s thoughts. That’s why sometimes you have to put all the cards on the table and tell them how you’re feeling at that moment – even if it’s not good for your partner to hear it.
3. Breaking fixed patterns
You used to make a cup of coffee for the other person without asking or you were surprised by a bunch of flowers, to name a few. Slowly but surely, these spontaneous, usually small gestures give way to routine. Routines are dangerous because they slip through without you even realizing it and are hard to break. Before you know it, you’ve developed certain patterns in your relationship that quickly make you annoyed with the other person and have little interest in each other.
To get out of this, you may have to take the first step on your own. The tricky thing about this is that you initially do something on your own for your partner without immediately expecting anything in return. If your relationship is good, your partner’s energy will also change. Instead of being attracted to each other, you are again open to doing something for the other person selflessly. Whether it’s daily chores or just being there for each other mentally, if you show change, hopefully your partner will too.
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4. Imagine the future
How do you see your future if you are honest with yourself? In other words: Is your partner still in it and if not, how do you feel about it? You may feel sad, in pain, or angry. Regardless, try to figure out what that feeling is really doing to you. Who knows, you might feel relaxed, or maybe you still feel like you were made for each other. Either way, it can help you find the right answers.
5. Determine if your past influences your present
There is usually more than one reason for a relationship not working out. But what doesn’t help is putting every negative trait of your partner under a magnifying glass. It’s something you often don’t realize (immediately). That you do this may have something to do with your past. In fact, sometimes we provoke our partner to treat us the way we used to be treated.
Try to look back in a situation like this. Your partner does something you don’t like, but what happened right before that moment? Have you exhibited negative behavior? Then that’s what you need to focus on and change – and the same goes for your partner, of course. The way you used to handle situations doesn’t always work in an adult relationship.
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Source: Psychology Today, Marriage
Photo: Getty Images