Successful women’s ‘panic years’: ‘Often they think getting pregnant quickly is still beneficial’ | family

Women with successful careers often find it difficult to fulfill their desire to have children. Because they don’t have a partner or because they always thought they had enough time for it. The hardest ticking biological clock begins to work against them. Children’s wish coach Vicki Peters comes to their aid.

Vicki Peters has worked for years as a coach for women who want to have children. Until I found out there are a lot of successful, motivated women among them. The Flemish trainer now leads this group from her own company: Viki Peeters Coaching. There are many women among them who want to have a baby at a later age but have doubts about it and have the idea that time is running out. But also single women who are wondering if they want to start without a partner. , they come to me in – as often feels – panic years† Now or never, the biological clock is ticking. It’s complicated decisions: Will I do it at this age, through donors, will I do it as a single mother? “

Why do “successful” women often need this help?

“When I noticed that many women come to me in busy professions, such as lawyers, medical professionals, or women who have their own companies, I started reading more about it. What the research shows: the more successful a woman is in a career field, the more likely she is not to become a mother in Middle age This is not always a conscious choice Their lives have sometimes been different from what they wanted They have studied for a long time, worked extensively in their careers between the ages of 25-35, while this is when they are in their most fertile years They often think that they can Pregnancy easily after that.

Research also shows that successful women find it more difficult to find a partner. They have less time for that. Another factor is that successful women intimidate a lot of men. For men, the opposite is true: the more men succeed, the greater their chance mid-age She has a family with children. It is more natural for a man to combine his busy job and family. Women are more likely to comment on it.”


Many customers wonder if choosing a donor is selfish. At the same time, they must say goodbye to having children with a partner

Vicki Peters

Why are they knocking on your door?

“Most women find it hard to make the decision. You might say it’s easy under time pressure – you have to – but in practice this pressure makes it more difficult. At that moment they knock on my door because they feel like they are wasting time. It’s also big decisions. They need to be taken. Some women have to decide to go it alone. Sometimes even with two donors, both sperm and egg donors.”

Many customers wonder if choosing a donor is not selfish. At the same time, they should say goodbye to the ideal image of having children with a partner. From the fusing of genes together, the culmination of love.”

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How do you help them?

“I begin by examining fears and beliefs. What is right about that? They often lose sight of the desire to have a child. Sometimes the grief of failed attempts or abortion is added. The goal of the training is that they become stronger and dare to make decisions.

And suppose you were going to try with a donor, how would you do that? Do you choose an unknown or known donor? Do you live in your country? It’s a whole maze of options, and I help them with that. Any many women also have questions about: How do I tell my child later about the donors, how can I find out why there is no father? “

A lot of women already have questions about how to tell their children, but there is no guarantee that the desire to have children will come true.

,,, shout. Successful women often tend to plan everything and like to be in control. When it comes to wanting to have children, you can’t control yourself too much, but there are also things you can control. You decide which path to choose.

Women sometimes look for confirmation, and I wouldn’t give it to them. Moreover, no one can provide certainty. Children are the most random things in life. This is what makes it so difficult. If you find it difficult to go into single motherhood, you can also choose an intermediate option by freezing eggs. It’s not a guarantee either, but at least you have a backup plan.”

So these women need more self-confidence?

“Finding your answers is difficult. The answers that you feel comfortable with. Often they rarely tell anyone, because they still struggle with it themselves. They are afraid of what their surroundings will think. It is also not very common to try, for example, when Age 45 with two donors. Sure, people who have children very easily themselves often don’t understand this. But if you stand behind your decision, the reactions won’t bother you. It often turns out then that it’s not so bad.”

Are you only testing success stories?

I live a lot of beautiful things, when I look at the birth announcements I receive, I am really happy. But I also hear stories of failed attempts and pregnancy loss. The latter is sensitive to me, I tried it twice myself. I try to keep in touch in such a case. What doesn’t help at all is for people to start downplaying the situation, like, “Luckily you’re not far into the pregnancy yet.”

Although most clients try to fulfill their desire to have children, some also give up. that happens. Then they find it too far away from their desire to be a mother.”

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