Our talented daughter is literally sick from school and has been at home for the past 3 years. Families like us are crushed by a bureaucratic system not designed to help children | Opinion

“Our talented daughter is literally getting sick from school and has been home for 3 years now.” Photo: shutterstock

Saskia Dedrick and her family live in an unpleasant, even painful, situation. To draw attention to this, I have written the letter below to the Ministers of Education, Culture and Science, Robert Dijgraf (D66) and Denis Wiersma (VVD) (Primary and Secondary Education).

What to do if your 9-year-old has persistent abdominal pain? No matter how hard you search, there is no medical cause to be found. Your baby becomes calmer and doesn’t want to do anything anymore. She is invited to all the birthday parties of her classmates, but she is asking for cancellations more and more often. “Mom, I’m so tired, the kids are kind, but I’m so different.”

After a while, she asked to hang a picture of the family in her room. Picture of her as a baby in my arms. “Mom likes to watch that so much, then I didn’t have to go to school yet and we were happy!”

If your child also says he doesn’t want to live at all anymore, all alarm bells go off. As a mother I feel fear, sadness and despair. How can I help my daughter?

Turns out our daughter was talented

When our daughter was tested at the age of ten, he was found to be talented. The therapeutic educator explained that she is redressing at the level of an 18-year-old girl. This is why my daughter feels so different. Hence it is understandable that she does not feel at home in a classroom with her peers.

It is also understood that tailoring education to suit its needs requires specialized customization. Despite numerous discussions with schools and authorities and a number of school changes, things are not going well. My daughter, who is now 12, hasn’t been able to go to school for 3 years now. Our talented daughter literally gets sick from school, so sick that she no longer wants to live, let alone learn anything.

In recent years, while looking for good help for my daughter, I have faced the walls of bureaucracy in all agencies. On a 1.5-year consulting office visit, you are asked to construct a 6-block tower. Extra blocks were taken from all rooms and my daughter happily piled on. When the staff said this was very special, I asked: What now? In fact, they didn’t know that either, and that’s how the consultations ended.

resistance wall

In all the years since then I haven’t had a much better experience with regular care. Especially since our daughter stayed home from school, on the advice of all specialists with an understanding of talent, we encountered a wall of resistance even more.

Institutions do not know, do not understand and regularly choose resistance, coercion and pressure. advising experts through expertise and interest groups; Get insurance for legal expenses, don’t let anyone in and record every conversation. This is what help has achieved for these children. Families cannot count on them and they end up in complete isolation.

I must answer the question “who will pay for it” in the consultations. People rarely ask how my daughter is doing or what she really needs.

It is estimated that between 15,000 and 20,000 children live at home

For at least 3 years, I have been offering education to my daughter and guiding her to grow into an adult who can save herself in this world. For this, I have now gathered a team of professionals around me, partially self-financed.

I cannot work because I have a day job in which I fight with the authorities for the rights of her children. My social contacts are minimal and we have now invested a fortune in our daughter’s education and care.

Unfortunately I am definitely not the only one. It is estimated that 15-20 thousand children are at home, many of whom are gifted. We’ll be fine, but I can see families are under this tremendous pressure. This group is also in danger of being crushed by a bureaucratic system not designed to help children, but to keep all ‘stakeholders’ happy.

Is this the next ‘extra cost’ issue? I think so, this educational issue should stop.

Saskia Diedrick lives in Flagtweed

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