Marianne (43 years old): “As a woman you can have a family and a career” | Stories behind the news

“I work 36 hours a week at Rabobank as a brand strategist and participate in the promotion of our collaborative brand position. I activate social themes and am responsible for our brand campaigns and commercials with a team of creative professionals. My husband Mark is the CEO of a retail clothing store, where He works full time. We’ve been married for sixteen years.”

self-reliance

“I wrote a book in the hope of making women more self-reliant. At least 50% of women are financially dependent on their partners or the government. I am convinced that this dependence is not good for relationship balance, as it contributes to inequality. To combat this, it is important to maintain Take control of your own life.You can do this by, among other things, financially shelling the pills.

When a woman becomes a mother, it is normal in the Netherlands to take a big step back in her career or even stop working. But as a woman you have to look at the long term. Childcare can be a big expense in the short term, but continuing to work is an investment in yourself and the rest of your life. The best thing is that you can keep your position and split your hours more flexibly or work fewer hours temporarily. Once your child is a little older, you can easily increase your working hours again.”

long-term

“We are very focused on the short term. But if you decide to work less at a young age, it will have an impact on your financial future. You get a lower pension and there is also a real chance your marriage will fall apart. Divorced women lose tens of thousands of euros in purchasing power. So, bring The future is to the present and look at it emotionally.Think about dreams and desires and discuss them with your partner.

If one of my daughters chooses full-time motherhood? Then I would let her read my book so she could see the struggles her predecessors faced in order to let them work. I would encourage her to keep going, because especially in the difficult years of early motherhood, it keeps your battery charged and your confidence boosts. How wonderful it is to have a family and a business. It really makes you a nicer person! “

independence

“Mark and I work a lot. That’s why we made clear agreements before we started having kids. When I was pregnant, I already knew Mark wouldn’t be working less when our baby arrived, because he’s a corporate president. So I had to take a step back, but I I still work at least four days a week.I wanted to maintain my independence.

We have a joint account for all fixed costs: gas, water, electricity, mortgage, subscriptions and everything for the kids. We both deposit a certain amount each month in proportion to our salary. Mark puts in a little more because he earns more and I do more housework. In addition, we both have our own account. I think it’s important for me to have that independence and to be able to make my own decisions. I think it feels great to be able to make my purchases myself without feeling guilty. After all, it’s my own money and that gives me an amazing feeling of freedom.”

families

“I do a little more Mark at home. That’s because I work a few hours less and can multitask better. My work is also flexible, and due to the Corona pandemic, I’m mostly working from home. Then it’s easier if I do my shopping and cooking, for example.” Example We outsource the actual cleaning We have someone twice a week who cleans everything for us.

On a typical weekday, Mark makes coffee and breakfast for us. We eat and drink this warm in bed, before we shower and get dressed. Sandwiches were distributed to the children’s lunch the night before. Mark has to leave the house before school, so I take the youngest to school. Then I go to work. At the age of six, I picked up the youngest from the shelter and started cooking. In the afternoon or evening, children have to play sports or do their hobby on different days, so we bring them and take them with them. At half past eight the first goes to bed, and about nine thirty there is calm.”

residence

“During the lockdown, I worked a lot from home, while the kids were home schooling. It was great being able to spend so much time with my kids. For example, we could have lunch together and they saw me working. I hope they now understand better how hard it is.” Mark and I work every day for the beautiful life we ​​have with the family, and that if you want to achieve something, you have to work hard for it.

I think it’s important for the kids to see that Mark and I are equal. For example, if I cook a lot, I want Mark to express his appreciation for her, so they understand that it’s not an axiom. It’s also important to keep talking about the division of labor and care. Let me know if you need help or are not satisfied. By continuing to communicate with each other, the discomfort disappears.”

Do you also want to tell who does what for you? Then tell us via call@vrouw.nl.

Also listen to the VROUW podcast Zo Doet She about feminism and part-time paradise:

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